


An Escape to a New Reality

by SamuraiGrl89



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Content, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Foreign Language, Graphic Description, Mild Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuraiGrl89/pseuds/SamuraiGrl89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hike was more of a mental escape from her heartbreak, than a literal one. But after stopping to rest, she wakes up to find herself no longer in the meadows of Tuolumne but in Middle Earth. How will she cope with this new reality?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story isn't new to this site, however after re-reading it I have decided to in a way start fresh by re-writing it. Those who have read the story up to chapter 11 will find that the plot will remain the same however certain events will have changed. I apologize for the sudden shift.

When I initially agreed to come with Danny to go camping, I was excited and nervous beyond words. It would be our first trip together. Just us, alone. Not that there was anything wrong with that. I've gone on trips with my friends many times, just not with Danny. Danny was more than just a friend. I have been in love with Danny for more that 3 years and things between us seemed to be better than ever. He became more attentive, more affectionate. Maybe…just maybe my affections will be reciprocated this time.

The 8 hours up to Tuolumne meadows was more fun than when I had went up the last 6 times with my parents. We talked about everything and anything. But mostly about the Hobbit. He had never read the book, so for most of the ride I was informing him the difference between the movie and the book. He would call me a nerd but I didn't care. He always told me he loved how geeky I was. It was like a dream. By the time we had reached our campsite in Tuolumne, we were reminiscing about our other hang outs, and making plans for when I would finally move closer to him in a few months. But just like any dream, one would have to wake up sooner or later. I just would have preferred later.

Not an hour after we had set up the tent, an old Honda Accord pulled up to our campsite. Looking at the car, I noticed three people inside the car. One person I recognized right away being Richard, Danny's friend who he had once introduced to me last year. Richard got out of the front passenger side and waved at me as he walked over to Danny. I nodded with a smile.

_Ok, what the hell? Weird coincidence._

I watched Danny grab Richard's hand and pull him into a hug. I turned to see the other people getting out of the car. The driver was a young Mexican guy wearing baggy jeans and a green plaid shirt that was a size too big on him. He reminded me of the cholo wanna-be's I would often see when I was in high school. He popped the trunk as he got out of the car. Without looking at me or Danny, he walked over the back and began taking camping gear out. The right back passenger doors opened and my heart stopped.

 _No. Please not her. Anyone but her_.

A young African American girl got out of the car with a smile on her face. After adjusting her very tight black top and faded skinny jeans, she turned to Danny.

"Hey sexy!" She walked over to him swaying her hips and a predatory look on her face. Danny laughed as he hugged her tight. I watched in shock as they held each other before Danny led her away from the camp. I suddenly felt sick and light headed.

_Why is she here?_

"Hey May." The deep voice shook me from my shock. I looked over at Richard who extended his hand with a smile. I gave a small smile back, taking his hand.

"Hey…how have you been?"

"Been good. You missed the cheesecake I made last week." He said laughing.

I couldn't help but chuckle. Richard was always baking or cooking something from what Danny had told me.

"Dang! Sorry I missed it. Maybe next time."

As we walked over to the car, I noticed that the driver had already pulled out the some duffle bags from his trunk and was trying to get out the bag that, I assumed, contained their tent. I walked over to him and grabbed the other end of the duffle. Feeling the rods in the bag, I knew my assumptions were right. Adjusting the position of the bag, we managed to take it out and laid it down next to the tent I brought for me and Danny.

"Thanks. I'm Leo." The young man said as he stood up.

"May. No problem. Anything else you need help taking out?" I replied with a small bow of my head.

"No seems like we got everything out. Just need to set up the tent."

I nodded and kneeled down to start taking out the tent supplies.

"Where did Danny go?" Richards voice drifted from the car.

I looked around. Danny still hadn't come back with her. The pain came back and I could feel a lump form in my throat. So I decided to ignore Richards question. Letting out a shaky breath and started to set up the tent. A few minutes in, I realized no one was going to help me. It didn't really matter to me, I had helped my dad set up our tent so many times, that I had no issues putting in the stakes and getting the poles situated in the tent loops. My confidence was short lived however, when it came time to actually putting the tent up.

Looking over at the fire, the words died before the past my lips. While Richard and Leo laughed together, Danny had his arms wrapped around the girl's waist. I didn't know what time they got back, but seeing them with identical smiles made my stomach drop. Slowly I got up and walked over.

The girl looked over at me and smiled.

"Hey! I'm Michelle…" _I know who you are._ "thanks for helping the guys." I bowed my head and smiled.

"No problem." I said softly as I looked at Danny who's eyes were gleaming with happiness. I took a breath and smiled "Hey Danny could you help me get stuff out of the car?"

Danny looked at me puzzled but soon enough understood what I wanted.

"Yeah. Be right back." He kissed her cheek as he followed me over to our car a few feet away.

"Seriously?! Danny what the hell is going on?" I hissed at him, my back to the others. Danny's smile faltered.

"What do you mean?" I shook my head in shock.

"Why are they here? Why is she here?!"

"I asked them to come."

My head spun. He what?! "Ok….why?"

"Look when you told me about this place, I thought it would be perfect to bring her here. So when I asked her she agreed!" Danny said smiling. My mouth dropped and I could feel my pulse race.

"So why did you ask me here if you just wanted to spend time with her?" Danny shrugged and looked down.

"She wouldn't come unless Richard and Leo came. Since you knew this place better, I thought that you know…You could show us around."

My head was spinning. This is a nightmare. This can't be happening.

"But you…You kissed me...and I let you..." I said. My voice shaky at best.

"Come on May. We were just having fun. I thought you knew that?" I looked up at him in shock. Danny looked at me with concern. "I can't give up on her. She said she finally wants to give us a chance."

He gave me a hug and walked back to the group. I don't know for how long I stood there staring at the ground. _We were just having fun. I thought you knew that?_ The words kept repeating in my head. I needed to get away. I needed to leave right then and there.

A tear slid down my cheek and I hastily wiped it away with the back of my hand. _Don't let them see you cry. Can't let them see you cry._ Taking a deep breath, I walked over to my car and opened the passager door. I grabbed my ipod and jean jacket before I walked back to the group.

"Danny I'm going for a walk I'll be back in about an hour." All eyes came on me and suddenly I wish I had just left. I try my best to swallow the lump in my throat and push the dizziness away.

"What?! By yourself?" Danny asked getting up. I put out a hand to stop him from coming closer.

"Yea. Don't worry. I just want to go explore. I know where I'm going." The tremor in my voice was less than convincing, but no one seemed to notice. Or if they did, they gave no sign of bringing it up. I pat his arm with a tight smile. The moment I turned and walked away, I choked down a sob as the tears fell down my cheeks.

I am finding it hard to breathe. Running, or walking up hill, while crying isn't a great idea but it was better than staying at that campsite. Images of him and her kissing, snuggling. I choke back a cry. New tears falling down my cheeks. I bring the back of my hand to my mouth to hold back the sounds of my sobs. Reaching the main road, I made sure no cars were coming before dashing across the street and made my way over to the trail that me and my parents had walked along so many times before.

I don't know how long I run for. I just kept running until I reached a place I hadn't seen in years. A large river flowing through a, now rocky, glacier. Panting and trying to get past the burning in my legs, I slowly make my way over to the river's edge. By now, I had no more tears to let out. So exhausted from everything, I plopped myself down near the rivers edge. It has always been a breath taking view. The water was so clear and blue against the white of the rock. The sound of the river flowing and the birds chirping. So peaceful and yet, I could only feel sorrow and heartbreak for the man I had fallen for had chosen another.

 _She's always used him, always taken advantage…why doesn't he see that I am here and that I love him…_ I scoffed. _Of course you know why. Because you're...No!_  I just needed to get away. I pulled out my ipod and clicked on the app of the Hobbit.

If I can't physically escape, at least the Hobbit can let my mind escape reality for a while.

I lay on my back. The heat of the rock gave me goosebumps, I shivered a bit before letting out a sigh as my body relaxed. Holding up my ipod I began to read, but it wasn't long before I would succumb to exhaustion and drift to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke to the soft breeze and smell of grass.

_Grass?...Shit! How long have I been asleep? What time…_

Sitting up right, my thoughts paused as I looked around. The rock I had been laying on was no long there, instead it was replaced by tall grass. And no river was to be heard anywhere. _This is a dream…._ I touched the ground which was cool. I looked up there was a light breeze, and the smell of fresh grass filled my nose.

"This has to be a dream!"

I shot up to my feet. The stiffness in my legs made me cringe. Looking down I noticed that I was still wearing my black high top converse. I sighed. Still wearing the same shoes I ran in... I rubbed my eyes before looking down at myself. Still wearing my short cropped jean jacket that I grabbed from my car. My black spaghetti strap top and jean shorts were the same as well. Taking a deep breath, I pinched my arm as hard as I could.

"Ow! What that hell?"

Looking up at the vast greenery, panic slowly began to set in. I pinched myself again and still nothing happened. Trying to keep myself calm, I quickly try to think.

 _My ipod! If this were a dream, it wouldn't be he…_ Laying a few inches where my head had been before i sat up, was my ipod touch. My mouth went dry. _This isn't happening. This CAN'T be happening._

"Dou shiyou?" I whisper.

I closed my eyes and take three slow deep breaths. All the while praying to myself that when I opened my eyes I would be back on the glacier rock. Cracking an eye open, I cursed under my breath. My shoulders slumped and brows furrowed as I looked around.

"How did this happen? How did I even get here?!" I whispered. I had to admit, where ever I was. It was very beautiful. Green grass everywhere, tall trees, amazingly blue sky. While I would have loved to enjoy it more, the panic of not knowing where I even was or how to get back to the others was strong.

"Shit."

I frowned and looked around for any clue as to where I could go for help. But there was nothing. No sign of a trail. No sign of people anywhere. The only thing that stood out was the large group of trees. While not a forest to say there seemed to be nothing dangerous about it. Still, there was something about them that told me, this is the way I have to go. With one last look around, I chewed on my lower lip. I still wasn't convinced I wasn't dreaming, but at the same time my gut told me I didn't want to stay here and wait it out. With a deep sigh, I walked.

The trees were father away than I thought and it took, what felt like, 30 minutes to reach the gathering and when I looked up at the trees, I swore that I felt shorter than usual. I don't know, maybe I was more tired than I thought. I continued on and it wasn't long till I found what looked like a trail. It wasn't warn in like the trail I was just on in Tuolumne but it was still a trail.

"Ya~! AHA!" I shouted while doing my little happy dance. I'm a dork that is easily please. What more can I say? Without thinking anymore I head down the trail further into the trees. Things were starting to look up.

The more I walked, the more I felt myself relaxing. This place was definitely no where near Tuolumne and suddenly "where" didn't really matter. I felt calm here and smiled as I took in my surroundings. Still something wasn't right. While I knew that I had never been here before, there was a feeling tugging at the back of my mind. The feeling of familiarity. I couldn't help but feel like I knew this place.

_I'm just being silly now._

Shaking off the feeling, I picked up my pace. Clearing a small hill I noticed a gray figure in the distance. My eyes widened as I stopped dead in my tracks. I blinked a few times thinking it was a hallucination but the person was still moving. The echo of the persons whistles only added to my believing he was real….Or as real as a dream could get.

Careful not to make too much noise, I quickly moved to catch up with the figure. Still a good 10 feet away, I slowed my pace. My heart was pounding so loud, I would have sworn the person ahead of me would hear it. But I still I help my breath. Dream or not, I wasn't stupid and wasn't going to take any chances that this person could be dangerous. Besides that I hated trying to run in dreams. I always felt like I was going no where fast.

My thoughts stopped and heart lurched when the tall figure stopped walking. Swallowing my fear, I looked around. There was no where to hide if they turned around.

_Oh god. Don't turn around…_

I took a breath and adjusted my stance. If this person was going to turn around they weren't going to see someone who was meek. No matter how petrified I was. But the figure didn't turn around. They merely let out some smoke rings which floated towards me. I watched the rings get closer before finally one turned into a butterfly and landed on my nose before it disappeared. My mouth dropped.

_I know that butterfly…But that could only mean one thing….Gandalf?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Dou Shiyou? = What am I going to do?


	2. On the way to the Shire

_Gandalf? No. way._

My jaw dropped as the man in gray look back at me. It was him. It was Gandalf and more specifically it was Ian McKdellen dressed as Gandalf.

"Honto?" I whispered in awe.

"My dear. Why are you following me?"

_He spoke! To me! He spoke to me! Ian McKellen is dressed as Gandalf as spoke to me!_

I looked around wondering where the cameras were, where the crew was. But I didn't see anyone. Or anything for that matter. No cameras, no people, no sign of any kind of modern technology. I looked back at him. His face curious and gave no hint that this was a joke.

I looked down as I tried to process this new information, when it hit me. I'm in the Middle Earth…Or at least I'm dreaming. Why I don't know whether to be elated or to be scared out of my wits.

"Why the hell am I in middle earth?" I said to myself.

"I beg your pardon?" The older man's voice broke me of my thoughts.

_Oops, forgot he was here._

I open my mouth to speak but find no words. Gandalf turns to fully face me with a look of curiosity in his eyes.

"I um…I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it…I just. Well I'm kind of…lost? I wasn't sure when I would see another person or if you were dangerous…"

Raising a brow, he straightened and walked towards me. The closer he got, the more I realized, he was tall. Very Tall. I slowly looked him up and down as he stood directly in front of me.

"Ohmygod! I'm SHORT!" I realized.

"Yes I can see that." He chuckled as I quickly looked up at him. "Did you not realize this before?"

Once again I gaped at him. I rubbed face with my hands.

"NO! I mean…no. I mean…I've always been short. But I mean 5 foot 2 inches isn't that short -"

"My girl,-" Gandalf chuckled. "- I am sorry to inform you that who ever told you that you are 5 feet has sadly led you astray. I would say you stand no taller than 3 feet possibly less."

My brows furrowed. I wanted to cry. I was short. No. I was tiny short.

_Why? Why of all the places where people were on average shorter than me, did I have to shrink?_

I chewed on my lower lip as my shoulders slump. I didn't care if the Gandalf, from the movie, was staring or not.

"Is something the matter?" I looked up. The look of amusement replaced with concern. I sighed and shook my head.

"Where were you heading before you lost your way?"

I looked up at him confused.

"I wasn't heading anywhere. I was laying by a river and next thing I know I'm waking up somewhere over there?" My arm flailed over in the direction i had come from. Gandalf glanced at the direction I pointed and once again cocked an eye brow.

"Where are you from little one?"

I glared  _Ha. Ha. "Little one" thats funny._  Letting out a breath, I tried to burry my irritation.

"I'm from San Diego."

He said nothing. Just stared at my blankly. I puffed my cheeks. I remembered that this wasn't my world and people from here had absolutely no idea what the United States was, let alone San Diego.

"Um…It's not anywhere near here." I told him. Gandalf nodded slowly.

"I would think not. Your accent I do not recognize and your clothes are none that I have ever come across before. While you are the size of a hobbit, you are too thin and have too small of feet to be one."

I laughed at his comment. At home, I was always judged for being not thin enough. I know I'm not skinny but I wasn't fat either. So while I hated being the size of a hobbit, I was flattered that Gandalf suggested I was skinny. Guess that's one up side

"Well I am on a schedule -" His talking brought me back to the present and I looked up at him as he started walking away. "-and I am already late as it is so I must be going."

"Oh right." I waved good-bye before letting my arm drop. I didn't understand why I felt sad to see him leave.  _Remember May. It's just a dream. Not like he'd be around when I woke up anyways._

"Hurry up! I wouldn't want you getting lost again." I perked up at his voice in the distance. With a moment of hesitation, I took a deep breath and I jogged up to the old wizard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was amazing how much of a pain it was to try to keep up with the wizard with my short legs. The pain in my legs burning more from earlier today. Gandalf seemed to notice because he slowed down a bit. I couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief, though the burning in my legs was both worrying and confusing. If this is a dream.  _Why isn't the pain going away?_

"So tell me. What is your name my dear?"

I'm May." I said with a small smile and bow of my head.

"I am Gandalf the Gray." He replied with a smile.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gandalf. Just curious...where are we going?"

"We are going to the Shire."

I slowly nodded.  _Well that wasn't helpful at all. Pretty much just narrowed down where I was. But was he heading there to see Frodo or Bilbo? Was this strictly the movie universe or the book universe?_  Ok it had to be the movie verse because its Ian McKellen…But then again….I always pictured him as Gandalf when I read the books…

Lost in my own train of thoughts I hadn't really paid any attention to the road. How I had managed to successfully follow Gandalf was a mystery, yet it didn't matter when I bumped into him. Giving an apologetic smile, I looked around him to see why he stopped. A gasp escaped my lips. The pond, the bridge, the flowers. Everything just like in the movie. I walked around the wizard just to the edge of the road where the tall grass grows. I could feel a smile spread across my face.

"It's beautiful."

A chuckle from the wizard and I realized I had said that out loud.

"It is in deed. Welcome to the Shire, Ms. May. Now, come along dear." He said with a smile as he lead me down the road.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Hobbits. Women and men talking, laughing, working. Hobbit children ran and chased each other. I almost laughed, I was in such shock. This was more beautiful and amazing than the movie or book. Turning my attention back to the road, I found myself being led to a familiar Hobbit hole with an emerald green door and a brown wooden fence that separated the trail from a mousey brown haired hobbit, sitting contently on his bench, smoking a pipe. My heart thumped in my chest. Dream or not, excitement swelled inside me.

Walking up to Bilbo, Gandalf blew a ring of smoke. And just as in the movie, the smoke turned into a butterfly that flew delicately onto Bilbo's nose before blowing away. Hiding just behind Gandalf, I looked on as Martin Freeman dressed as Bilbo look up at the giant of a wizard. Looking around awkwardly, he cast a quick glance back at the wizard. His eyes squinted with suspicion and confusion.

"Good Morning." I couldn't help but smile.

"What do you mean?" He said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not?"

Bilbo gapped at the Wizard. "Or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

Bilbo hesitated and I had to bite my lip from laughing. "All of them at once I suppose." He replied. No smile graced his lips. Doing a double take at Gandalf, the hobbit made move to leave but seemed to reconsider as he turned in his seat again. "Can I help you?"

"It remains to be seen." The wizard said taking a moment to study to the hobbit before him. "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."

I laughed to myself as Bilbo's mouth dropped once again.

"Adventure?...Now I don't imagine anyone, west of Bree, would have interest in adventures." With that Bilbo stood and walked to the mail box. "Nasty uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner."

Watching him search through his mail, I no longer cared that I was dreaming of "The Hobbit". I knew the first movie by heart and seeing it play out before me made my fill with glee. Holding onto my jacket, I began to chew on the edge of my collar.

"Oh! hm. Good Morning!" With a quick smoke, Bilbo rushed up the stairs to his door.

"To think I should have lived to be good-morninged by Beladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!" Gandalf step forward as Bilbo looked at him in confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

Gandalf shook his head. "You've changed Bilbo Baggins and not entirely for the better."

Bilbo paused before speaking.  _I'm sorry do I know you?_

"I'm sorry do I know you?" I smiled victoriously. The old wizard looked at Bilbo incredulously.

"Well you know my name, though you don't remember that I belong to it. I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means me!"

I watched Bilbo think it over for a split second before realization hit him.

"Not Gandalf the wondering wizard who made such excellent fireworks?! Old took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve." I smiled again as Bilbo chuckled and reorganized himself to look more authoritative. "I had no idea you were still in business."

The wizard's face faltered and without thinking, I laughed out loud. My eyes widened at my mistake. Putting his pipe down, the Hobbit shifted his attention down to me. Kuso!

"And who is this?" I give a small smile and bow my head as I cringed inwardly.

"This is May. She has lost her way and is in need of a place to stay."

 _Place to stay?_  I cocked a brow at the wizard who smiled down at me. With a curt nod, he continued bring his attention back to Bilbo.

"Well that is decided. It will be very good for you. Both of you, and most amusing for me. I shall in form the others."

"What?!" Bilbo and I looked shared a look before looking back at the Wizard.

"Yadda!" I shouted out.

"No! N-no wait. We do not want any adventures here! Not today. N- I suggest you try over the hill or across the water!" Bilbo paced frantically before turning to us and bowing quickly as he opened the door. "Good morning!"

Gandalf said nothing as he opened Bilbo's gate and walked up the small stairs. Carving a rune letter on the door, I cocked my head. Oh yea. I remember this. It's the mark for the dwarves. The old wizard, hurried down the stairs and closed the gate close behind him.

"I shall be back after dark. You will be safe waiting here." I tried to object as Gandalf hurried back the way we came, but nothing came out.

"Nani!? I not even supposed to be here!" It was no use. The Wizard picked up his pace and while he was within shouting distance, I didn't need that kind of attention at the moment. Letting out a sigh, I looked around. I was really at Bag End and I was really in the Hobbit.

"I'm losing my mind. I have to be."

It made no sense, why I was dreaming of Middle Earth. I knew I loved the book. It was a comfort, it had been my escape. But there were worse times than this that I needed it. Why now?

So many questions and no one to give me answers. Watching as a female hobbit walked up the trail with her young daughter. I gave a small smile and bow. She gasped and hurried her child past me. Her judging eyes looking me up and down. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong before I looked down at myself. Suddenly I felt extremely self-conscious. Slowly I wrapped my arms around my waist and looked back at green door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door opened slowly as Bilbo cautiously looked around for, I assume, Gandalf.

"He's not here. He left not long ago." Bilbo straightened up and opened the door a bit wider.

"Oh. I see. And yet you're still here." I ducked my head.

"Yea…He kind of just…left…without me. So I'm sorry to bother you. He told me to stay and I have no where else to go. I just thought, maybe I could rest for a bit here until he gets back." I bit my lip again and hoped he would spare me from going out on my own. But he said nothing. Feeling more embarrassed than before I quickly backed away.

"Or not. I'm really sorry for bothering you. Good day." With that I gave a bow and turned away.

"Wait!"

Stopping in mid step, I looked back at Bilbo as he took deep breath and let it out slowly. With a small nod, he slowly stepped aside.

"Will you come in?"

I let out the breath that I wasn't aware I was holding and smiled. As I entered I remembered the beginning when the dwarves enter and quickly turn to Bilbo who jumps at my actions.

"May. At your service." I bowed at the waist and come back up with a smile.

Bilbo gives me an amused and curious look before bowing to me. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours. Although, I must say it is very unusual for a lady to say this." I blush and duck my head.

"Sorry."

Bilbo laughs and leads me to the dinning room.

"Oh no. Don't be sorry. I assume you are not from around here."

I nodded as I sat at the table. It was tall enough for me and looking at Bilbo I sighed realizing Gandalf was right. Bilbo is 3 feet tall and I'm probably an inch shorter. Nothing seems to be different from the movie. It was almost as if I was transported to the movie itself and not the world that J.R.R Tolkien created. It was all just so overwhelming. It was just supposed to be a nice weekend camping trip. How I wanted to convince myself I was still dreaming. The evidence all said otherwise.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Quickly I look at Bilbo Baggins who seems very concerned.

"What? What happened?" I asked slowly getting up. Bilbo shakes his head as if not believing what I just said.

"N-nothing. I asked you where you were from, but you seemed lost in thought…Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Sorry, just lost in thought." I gave a tight smile and nodded.

Bilbo nodded and placed a tea pot over the fire. Staring into the fire I began to think again about my situation. I didn't know how long I was going to be here and had no idea how to get back home.

 _Maybe I died. The thought made me chuckle a bit. Maybe that's why I'm here, because I died and this is my idea of heaven? My smile faltered as at the thought. What if that's what happened? What if I'm still on that rock…dead?_  I shook my head and pinched the ridge of my nose. I felt sick.

"Miss May?"

_I can't be dead…I can't…_

"Miss May?"

Shaken out of my thoughts. I looked at Bilbo.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

I opened my mouth. It would have been easy to say "yes." But looking in the concerned filled eyes of the hobbit. I swallowed and shook my head.

"I have a spare room. Why don't you lie down for a bit?"

I slowly got up from the table and followed as he led to me down the hall to the guest room. I was truly amazed at how big his house was. The guest room was quaint. A small bed was on the right wall and a small dresser opposite of it.

Turning to Bilbo I thanked him and watched as he walked away. My lip quivered and I chocked back a sob. I dragged my feet to the small guest bed and slowly buried my face in the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Honto? = Really?
> 
> Kuso = Shit
> 
> Yadda = No


	3. Meet the Company

I let out a yawn as I rolled on to my back. Stretching my arms over my head, I let out a sigh.  _What a crazy dream? How the hell did it go from camping with Danny to Bag End? Oh and then meeting Mister Baggins._ Slowly I sat up as I rubbed my eyes and yawned again.

"He was very nice though. Too bad he wasn't re-" Opening my eyes, I took pause. "-this isn't my room..."

"Nooo!" I covered my face with my hands. "This is a dream. It  _has_ to be a dream!"

Hearing muffled voices, male voices, somewhere in the house, my head shot up. "Who?"

As if hearing my question, the doorbell rang.

"They're here!" I swung my feet off the bed and stood up.  _Damn still short._  I started to cross the door when something on the dresser caught my eye.

A stack of folded clothes. Biting my lip, I cocked my head slightly as I walked over to them. There was a white long sleeved top and a pair of brown trousers.  _These weren't here before. Maybe he brought them for me?_ I looked back at the clothing unsure if I should wear them or not. I didn't want to go out, only to find out that they weren't meant for me. However looking down at my current attire, I was probably going to get very weird stares wearing short shorts. With that, I slowly began to change.

The pants were big for me but luckily I wore a belt with my shorts and quickly put it on to holding the pants around my hips. I left my top on under the shirt. I didn't care what they thought, I wasn't going to let anyone see my bra. Hastily I threw my hair up in a pony tail and adjust my bangs, relieved to find that my hair was still the same orange auburn color I had died it a week ago. Length seemed to be right as well. While I probably looked strange enough for having such a different tan skin and being Asian, if you add the hair color I must just look silly.

_No wonder that female hobbit seemed afraid..._

I looked at my shoes and pulled the pants down my hips a bit in efforts to try and hide my high tops but it was no use. They were still to short. With a shrug, I rolled up the bottom of the pant legs a couple times so they would reveal half of my calves and pulled up the collar of the shirt so it wouldn't fall off my shoulder. Looking my self over, I nodded and walked to the door. My hands trembled and heart seemed to be beating a mile a moment as I reached for the door. Excitement, fear? I wasn't sure. I just tried to shake it off. As quietly as I could, I opened the door.

Slowly I walked down the small hall way. As I turned the corner, I saw Bilbo standing in the middle of the hallway talking to what I assumed was the pantry.

"The thing is…uh… The thing is…I don't know either of you. Not in the  _slightest_." The hobbit's eyes followed a whitish blue blur fly past him landing in the other room across the hall with a squish.

I held back a laugh.  _Blue cheese._

Even though I couldn't see Balin and Dwalin, I knew the look they gave Bilbo.

Catching Bilbo's eye, I smiled.

"Ah. You're up I see. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you." Balin and Dwalin looked out from the pantry. I gave them a small bow of my head when I remembered the clothes and returned my focus to Bilbo. "Oh! And thank you. For the spare clothes."

Whatever Bilbo was going to say was forgetten when there was another ring on the door. Irritation and confusion were easily traced in his face as he headed towards the door. I took a few steps forward looking at the front door then looking at Dwalin and Balin, gave a small smile and a slight bow of my head.

"Fili"

"And Kili."

"At your service."

I slowly moved closer, straining my neck to try and get a peek of the two nephews of Thorin.

"You must be Mr. Boggins!" I smiled as Bilbo denied and tried to close the door on them. But Kili was faster, throwing his leg out between the door and its frame.

"Has it been cancelled?!"

"No one told us." Fili stated looking at his brother then back at Bilbo.

"Can-? No! Nothing's been canceled." He said shaking his head in confusion and frustration.

"Well that's a relief!" Kili smiled and shoved his way in.

Fili strutted in after. I chuckled as I watched Bilbo glare at the two young dwarves. While Kili ignored Bilbo's please to not wipe his boots on his mother's box, the blonde brother threw their weapons into the arms of their host.

_Poor Bilbo. This is going to be a long night._

Unable to just stand there and watch, I strode over to the struggling hobbit and shifted the weapons into my arms.

"Here let me help you."

The weapons were slightly larger and heavier than I anticipated, but thankfully I managed to keep my balance.

"Thank you. Least someone here has some manners."

Carefully setting the weapons down on the glory box, I stood and turned around with a smile. My smile faltered when I saw the two young princes staring at me with a weird look.

"Uh...Sorry...I just thought he needed help."

"You needn't apologize. We were just surprised that a hobbit of your size could easily carry what Master Baggin's could not." Fili said with a smile.

"Oh." Letting out a nervous laugh, I scratched the back of my head. "Yea...I am...I do a lot of heavy lifting back home."

The two princes exchanged a look of surprise. Puffing my cheeks, I quickly bowed and took a step back. Fili opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Dwalin, as he walked past me and up to Kili.

"Fili. Kili. Come on give us a hand." I watched Kili look up at Dwalin in surprise and awe as Dwalin lead him to the kitchen. Fili following close behind. I looked over at Bilbo, his jaw dropped.

"Otherwise we'll never get everyone in."

That seemed to break Bilbo out of his trance as he stormed over to the dinning room entrance.

"What?! Everyone?! How many more are there?"

At that the door rang. Without giving Bilbo a chance to state there are too many dwarves in his dining room, I walked over to the door and open it. Sure enough Bifur, Bofur, Bomber, Oin, Gloin, Ori, Dori, and Nori all stumbled onto the floor. Each complaining for the other to get off. I couldn't help laughing at the sight and looked up at Gandalf.

"Hello Gandalf." Gandalf bent down and smiled.

"May. You seem well." I ducked my head and gave a small smile.

He looked down as the Dwarves started getting themselves up. I recognized the hatted figure slowly get up to his knees as Bufor. I grabbed his arm and helped him up.

"Oh. Thank you, lass." I bowed my head as he straightened up.

_There's so many people in this room._ Taking a shaky breath, I took a step away from the dwarves. It didn't help much and soon enough the room became even more crowded as the Wizard pushed his way into the hallway. Before introductions could be made, the dwarves quickly moved past Bilbo and began pillaging the pantry; taking whatever food they could find in there to the dinning table across the hall.

Bilbo quickly followed, trying desperately to stop these invaders from taking all his food. Staying where I was, I felt myself relax a bit before slowly inching my way closer. I watched in silence.  _This isn't a dream. And I don't feel dead...Then again how does being dead feel...It can't be real...It's not possible... right?_

It took less than an hour for everything to be out; and the dwarves to be seated; and diving for the food. I stood in the entry way and looked on in fascination.  _It's exactly like the movie...Except I'm in it..._  Staring at the food, I was reminded I hadn't eaten all day. My stomach churned and growled. I chewed on my lip as I looked at the table of food, then at the dwarves. The sight was less than pleasant and suddenly I wasn't as hungry as I thought

"Bomber catch!" I turned my attention to Bofur as he threw a hard boiled egg at Bomber, who managed to catch it in his mouth. Everyone cheered, even I smiled.

_Ok. That was pretty impressive. Gross...but impressive._  Feeling a nudge against my back, I spun around nearly making Fili spill the filled jugs. Staring at him I couldn't remember my dreams being so detailed and clear.  _Ok...so this is definitely not a dream. Chikushou!_

"Are you alright?" I swallowed, my mouth had suddenly gone dry, and nodded.

"Yea sorry." I gave him a smile and hoped he would just leave it alone. Thankfully he seemed convinced and nodded.

"Alright up you go." The blonde dwarf placed his arm on my back, nudging my towards the table.

"Nani?!"

The word made him pause for a second before he shook his head and pushed me forward.

"Step up." I tried backing up but the blond dwarf was strong. Bofur noticed what Fili was trying to do stood up and quickly picked me up on to the table.

My heart was racing as did my breathing. Frantically I scanned the table for a way to get down.  _Can't breath. Need to get away._ Panic began to set in and I found I couldn't move.  _Help! Please get me down! I need...I can't breath._  I jumped as someone pressed against my back. I felt faint and swore I was going to fall when the person behind me grabbed hold of me. I tried to move but once again I froze. I let out a sob as I felt his breath on my neck.

"Miss, breath. Just breath." His voice was soft, not angry, not cruel.

"Breath." He said once more before I listened. Slowly letting it out, he rubbed my arm before stepping away. My eyes caught bright blue eyes.

"Take my hand, miss."

The blond dwarf held out his hand. I hesitated at first, but with one last pleading look from the dwarf, I took it. Slowly I stepped off the table with his assistance and sat next to him. My body was still trembling and I let out a slow shaky breath as I tried to regain what little pride I had left.

Chancing a quick glance around the room, with the exception of Ori, Kili and Fili. No one else seemed to have noticed my breakdown. I felt some relief with that.

"Are you alright?" Fili asked.

_No._ I hated myself for feeling so vulnerable and weak. I felt a hand squeeze my hand. Looking down at the glove covered hands, I let my eyes drift up to find the blonde's eyes filled with concern. Tearing my eyes away, I realized that silence had fallen upon the room. Fear quickly shifted to relief as I realized the dwarves chugging their drinks down. Each slammed their cup down once finished followed by an echo of belches, as one would try to out belch the other. It was a gross sight but I couldn't help but laugh. Turning back to Fili, my smile faltered. No smile graced his lips as he just stared at me. A blush crept up my cheeks as I ducked my head. "Yeah. I just...haven't eat anything today is all."

It wasn't necessarily a lie, but it was enough to get the dwarf off my case. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"You haven't eaten all day?!"

"Well...Maybe not since 8 this morning?" I wasn't entirely sure how time worked here versus back home but that didn't really matter now.

The blonde quickly began calling out to the other dwarves. Pieces of food flying towards him and thankfully none landing on me. In moments, a plate piled with food sat before me.

"Here you are!" Fili said proudly as he gave me a hard pat on the back.

For a moment I just stared at him, not really knowing what to say. Shifting my gaze from the food to him to the food and back at him. I opened my mouth and instead of words coming out, I laughed.

"Is everything alright Miss?" My laughter died as I looked across the table to Kili, his eyes filled with the same concern as his brother. I nodded with an honest smile before turning to Fili.

The dwarf looked baffled by my outburst but thankfully the smile that tugged at his lips said he wasn't mad about my response.

"Thank you."

"You're most welcome."

With that he went back to chatting with the other dwarves and taking long chugs from his ale.

The plate was filled with more food than I was used to eating.  _Ham, sausages, chicken, potatoes, pieces of cheese, a biscuit, tomatoes and a hard boiled egg._  Picking up the egg, I took a bit of the egg. The feeling of food filling my tummy made me smile and with out thinking I began to squirm with happiness in my seat. Unfortunately my actions didn't go unnoticed as I opened my eyes to find Kili watching me with big smile. A blush crept up my cheeks as the young dwarf gave a small laugh.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? I don't believe you."

Biting my lip, I ducked my head and turned my attention to eating my food slowly.

"He meant no harm miss."

I nearly choked on the rest of the egg I stuffed in my mouth. Fili laughted a bit as he handed me his jug. I took a big swig only to pull a face as the liquid touched my tongue. Half tempted to spit it out, half desperately needing the egg to go down. I opted for the ladder, forcing myself to swallow the fowl tasting drink. Apparently my disgust was obvious as everyone in the room broke out into laughter. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I thanked the dwarf.

"Better?"

I nodded.

"I meant what I said. My brother wasn't trying to insult you. He was just curious."

Casting a quick glance up at the dwarf, deep down I knew he wasn't lying. A sudden flash of guilt had me looking at the younger brother. He was laughing at something Ori had send when our eyes met. Seeing his with that big smile. I always found Aidan Turner to be exceptionally good looking, but in person and even as a dwarf that smile of his is amazing. Feeling my cheeks flush at the thought of my attraction towards him had me thankful that my skin was dark enough to hide it. Or so I thought when I stole another glance at Kili only to find the bastard staring at me with a playful smile on his face.

"What was that about?"  _He just wouldn't leave it alone._

Rolling my eyes, I tried to keep from smiling but failed which resulted in Kili smiling even more. I leaned in a bit as he did the same. 

"It's my happy dance." I winced at how silly it sounded and I was right as he laughed.  _Great. And now I'm probably the biggest idiot in this room._

"No! I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just...I've never heard of a...happy dance." He gave an apologetic smile and if he hadn't been so adorable looking like that I would have ignored him. 

"It's...when I'm really happy...I just do it. I hadn't eaten really today, so eating made me happy. Hence the happy dance." 

"Happy dance. I like it." He said laughing as he sat back in his seat. Giving a wink, he once again turned his attention to Ori leaving me to once again feel my cheeks turn flush. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

After dinner, many of the dwarves left the table to smoke their pipes in different rooms of the house. The smell of the tobacco filled the house. I was surprised that this bothered me. Wasn't even bothered with the smell of the dwarves. Although the more I thought about it, the more I realized that they didn't smell at all like I would have expected. Rather than smelling like they hadn't bathed in days, they smelled like horses and of earth. I smiled at that thought and looked over at Balin, Ori and Bomber. I laughed as Bomber and Ori kept filling their plates while Balin at the other end of the table was smoking his pipe. Catching Balin's eye, I smiled. 

"Balin. At your service. You must be Mrs. Baggins then?"

_Mrs. Baggins?!_  I opened my mouth to protest but the dwarf continued.

"If you don't mind me asking deary, but why do you not tend to your husband?" I shook my head in disbelief.

"He's not my husband."

With a laugh he took a puff from his pipe before talking again. "Apologies Miss..."

"May...At your service..."

"How are you acquainted with Mr. Baggins?"

"I only met him today. Gandalf told me to stay here while he went to gather you all." Balin nodded as Ori got up with his plate.

My eyes followed as he walked over to the hall way where Bilbo was now standing arguing with Gandalf. Bofur, Nori, Dori and Gloin gathered around the table. The rhythmic sound of their feet stomping, knives and forks clinkin, I quickly bit the back of my hand to keep from laughing.  

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" Bilbo just glared at Ori with his hands on his hips, he didn't notice Fili walk over nonchalantly.

"Here you go Ori, give it to me." Fili threw the plate.

Knowing this scene by heart, I didn't need to know that Kili caught it with one hand and threw it to Bifur. More plates began to sore through the air as Ori tossed them to Fili who threw them to Kili and then to Bifur. My smile widened behind my hand as Bilbo became flustered with the dwarves.

"A-and can you Not do that? You'll blunt them!"

"Ooh! Do you hear that lads?" Still keeping with the beat. "He's says we'll blunt the knives."

"Blunt the knives. Bend the forks.

Mash the bottles and burn the corks.

Chip the glass and crack the plates.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Glasses and plates were being thrown across the rooms, the dwarves sped up the music. I couldn't help but laugh and mouth the lyrics as they sang.

"Cut the cloth, tread the fat.

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat.

Pour the milk on the pantry floor.

Splash the wine on every door."

"Dump the crocks in a a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

And when you've finished, if they are whole,

Send the down the hall to roll!"

The music continued and more and more plates left the table and made their way to the next room. Bilbo was still frantically trying to make sure nothing got cracked or broken. Not wanting to miss the end, I quickly followed Bilbo into the next room.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

I laughed as did everyone else, both from the happy song as well as the stunned look on Bilbo's face as he realized despite the horrible lyrics, his dishes were piled neatly on the table.

But the laughter was short lived as a firm knocking silenced the room and all heads turned to the front door.

"He's here." Gandalf slowly walked over and opened the door. Slowly turning his head to look up at the wizard, stood the King Under the Mountain.

"Gandalf."

* * *

So this chapter was a bit longer than the first two. But I hope you enjoyed it none the less.

Translations:  
Chikushou! = I'm going crazy.  
Nani!? = What?


	4. Thorin

"Gandalf."

Thorin looked up at Gandalf before slowly stepping inside the hobbit hole. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way. Twice. Wouldn't have found it at all, had it not been for the mark on the door." Quietly I moved to the dinning room and hid behind the little wall that separated the entrance hallway and oak hall.

"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!"

Peeking out from behind the little wall, I couldn't see much because of the crowd of dwarves. So I quickly moved to the opposite wall. Still trying to stay as hidden as possible I managed to see Bilbo move from behind Dwalin and walk over the the door as Gandalf closed it.

"There  _is_  a mark, I put it there myself." Taking a breath he smiled at Biblo. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company. Thorin Oakenshield."

 _Ok. So far everything is just like the movie. And I haven't been noticed by Thorin. Yay!_ Even if I was my normal size, the dwarf scared me a little. I watched as Thorin took a little step towards Bilbo.

"So. This is the hobbit. Tell me Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

I felt a twinge of sympathy for Bilbo as Thorin began to circle him and stare him down.

"Pardon me?" Bilbo didn't look up at him just turned his head to follow the direction Thorin moved.

"Axe or sword. What is your weapon of choice?" Bilbo stood his ground and looked up at Thorin with confidence.

"Well I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know."

 _Conkers?_ I was always confused about that part.

"But I fail to see why that's relevant." The slight hitch in Bilbo's voice made me frown. His confidence faltered.

I was conflicted. I really wanted to stand up for Bilbo. I know how helpful he's gonna be and how he saves the dwarves from death on multiple occasions in this journey. But at the same time it would put a lot of unwanted attention on me and would bring up a lot of unwanted questions. So I had to bite my tongue and just hope that I could leave as soon as the dwarves left in the morning.

Hearing chuckling, I looked back at the group.

 _Thorin must have told the group Bilbo looked more like a grocer than burglar._ I always hated that comment. It was a comment one would hear in high school when the popular kid would single out the non-popular kid.  _Ugh. Stop worrying bout that and figure out what you can do to get out of here._

I watched as the last of the dwarves made their way to the dinning room, before I turned my attention to the front door.

_I could try to make a run for it...but they would see me right?...Maybe not...They completely forgot about me the minute Thorin arrived...But where would I even go? I don't even have money with me._

Shoulders slumped, I quietly made my way back to the guest room. Slowly closing the door behind me, I sat down on the bed. I could hear the muffled voices of dwarves as they discussed the journey to the Lonely Mountain to reclaim what they had lost to Smaug. I couldn't hold back my chuckle as I laid back and stared at the ceiling. At the sound of their angry voices rise, I smiled.  _They're either complaining about Balin's comment that they didn't exactly have the brightest bunch or arguing over how many dragons Gandalf has slain._  My smile was short lived at the booming of Thorin's voice rang through the house, silencing everyone.  _Yup very scary dwarf._

Slowly scanning the room, I let out a sigh.

_Why am I here? Why can't I go home? Why did I have to leave the group?_

"Why?" That was all that was going through my head. I've always been independent. Doing my own thing, I never relied on anyone. And suddenly in just one day. It all changed. I didn't care who it was at the moment. I just wanted someone, anyone just to tell me it would be alright. I closed my eyes and flipped onto my stomach. I was getting ready to scream into the pillow when I felt a booming voice. I popped my head up.

_Oh. It's just Gandalf._

Although I wasn't even in the same room, I could play the dwarf's reactions, to the dark cloud that spread from the wizard, so clearly. _I really had seen this movie too many times._  I let out a quite laugh as I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes.  _NO! Stop it! You've been through worse._

Clenching my jaw, I pounded my fist into the bed. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I wanted to leave. Needed to leave. Quickly I made my way to the door, and as I grabbed the handle, I paused.  _Where was I going to go?_ It was a question that kept lingering. I was in a catch 22. If I stayed, there was no guarantee that I would find my way back home. If I left...Outside of the shire, I could find myself in much more deadly situations.

I heard the dwarves humming and Thorin's voice through the door as they sung of their lost home. I leaned my back on the door and sank to the floor. I didn't care if I saw Danny again, I just wanted to go back home.  _I shouldn't have left._ My lip trembled as I tried to hold back the tears. But soon enough, one tear, then another and I let go. I gave in to the fear. The heart break. The pain of the past.

""""""""""""""""""""""""

The next morning I was awoken by a loud banging. I sat up with a jolt, thinking I was in some kind of trouble when I realized, I hadn't left the floor.

"Miss May! Are you in there?!" Bilbo's frantic voice pierced the door.

I jumped to my feet and opened the door worried something happened.

"Oh good. You're alright. Hurry up! We have to go!" He said with a look of relief.

_Go!?_

Bilbo quickly grabbed my hand and rushed me out to the hall way.

"What's going on?! What's wrong?"

All questions ignored as the hobbit rushed from one room to the next. As Bilbo came out from the parlour, he gave me a backpack and without any words he rushed to put his on before grabbing a long sheet of paper.

 _It can't be the contract._  My eyes widened as I watched him open the door.

"No! No no no no! No!" I cried out as Bilbo forced the my arms into the bag straps before he shoved me out the door.

"No time! Hurry up!" He cried as he ran down the hill and jumping over a fence.

"Kuso!" I looked back at the hobbit hole and grimaced.  _May you have two choices. Stay and wait. Or suck it up and go after Bilbo._

Running back I shut the door and then raced after Bilbo.

"Chotto matte! WAIT!"

It didn't take long till I was right behind Bilbo and we were able to see the line of ponies up a head.

"Wait! Waait!" He cried out waving his arms.

I'm trying my hardest to keep running, my chest heaving up and down, and I'm really regretting running up that mountain yesterday.

Bilbo hurries up ahead of me as I start to slow down. I see the dwarves and Gandalf turn as they watch me and Bilbo run to meet them.

"I signed it." He said proudly

I knew that Balin is going to inspect the signature, so I stay behind as I tried my hardest to get my breathing even.

"Miss!"

I looked over to my left and saw Fili and Kili smiling at me. With now shaky legs, I slowly walk over to the two.

"We thought you had left last night." Fili smiled down at me.

"It is very kind of you to accompany Mr. Bilbo and to bid us farewell." Kili said with a smile.

I cocked my head at Kili's statement and I remembered where I was and what I was.  _Oh yea...I'm female...and not a female dwarf._

"Oh...Uh, actually Bilbo..."

"Who are you?" The baritone voice had me jump.

Slowly I turned to find Thorin up on his pony staring down at me. I took a deep breath to speak but Gandalf interrupted.

"This is May. She too will accompany us on this quest."

"Another burglar I presume? And why was she not present at last nights meet?" Thorin glared at Gandalf. I gulped. The dwarf definitely scared me.

"No, not a burglar, but I do believe that she will be of help to you and your company." Thorin said nothing to the wizard as he hoped off his horse and walked over to me.

"What are you? You do not look like a hobbit nor a dwarf. You are too short to be an elf or man." Keeping my gaze low, I said nothing. Slowly he turned to walk back to his pony. "Go home young lady. I'm certain you would be of more use there than with us."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I cringed the moment the words slipped past my lips.  _This is why you need proper sleep...stupid filter._

Thorin snapped around. The rest of the company remained silent.

"You dare talk back to me!?" Thorin was walking back.  _Great… now you've gone and pissed him off._

"N-no...I...No. I mean you don't know me, yet you just assume I wouldn't be of use because I'm a womanl!"  _Yup. No Filter WHAT-so ever._  "It's not even because I'm woman, but because I'm not a dwarf woman." Thorin was glaring down at me and was standing no more than 2 inches away.

"So then have  _you_  done much fighting?" The question caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting him to ask me that so soon.

"N-no. But I-" Thorin circled me like he did Bilbo last night.

"Axe or sword?"

"Neither." I said quietly. "But I-"

"Just leave, lass." My ears perked up at the sound of Dwalin's voice. I looked over at him and saw that he, Balin, Dori, Ori and Nori had started to move their ponies up the trail.  _Ass_.

"It was a pleasure meeting you." With that Fili gave a sad smile and bowed his head before slowly riding after the others with Kili following close behind.

"You are judging her too hastily."

Thorin shot Gandalf a glare. But Gandalf's gaze didn't waver. I didn't know what had happened that made Thorin sigh I just know that I wasn't expecting him to turn and call for the others to stop. He returned his focus on me, no smile or sign of amusement could be found on his face.

"I will give you one chance. If you win, you may travel with us. But you will do as I say and never question my orders. If you lose, you will return back to where you came from. Understood?" Thorin's authoritative voice echoed through my body. I slowly nodded.

"Kili. You will fight her." My jaw dropped as Kili's eyes widened.

He began to shake his head but the look on his uncle's face told everyone it would be wise not to refuse. Kili got off his pony and grabbed two swords from the saddle before walking over to me. Looking at me with regret, he handed me on of the swords.

"I will be easy on you. Everything will be fine." I looked up at him with wide eyes. He gave me a small nod as he took a few steps back and unsheathed the sword.

_Shit! I'm actually going to fight him!? With actual weapons that could kill either of us?!_

I looked at Thorin, who's expression still hadn't changed, then back at Kili who waited in a readied stance. I looked down at the sword and unsheathed it slowly. The sword was heavy in my hands. While I was fine lifting weights, singing something as heavy as this would be a different matter entirely. My body began to shake with nerves. As if to ask for help, I looked to the others and then my eyes met Fili's. The dwarf gave me a small nod.

"It'll be alright." He mouthed. The concern in his eyes said even he doubted his words. I felt like I wanted to cry again but slowly I took a deep breath praying that what I learned from Kendo classes would be of any use here.

"Thorin, isn't there another way?!" Kili begged his uncle.

"No! If she does not wish to do this, she can go home. Now fight!"

With a reluctant sigh, Kili took a step back and got back into a readied stance. I look into his eyes and gave a nod. With a small nod back, Kili cried out as he charged. Without thinking, I dive rolled to my right and out of Kili's way. He quickly turned back around swinging his sword at my side. Using the blade of the sword, I had managed to block it. My arms shook as he pressed against my blade. Inching ever closer to my face, my heart beat raced and panic began to set in.

_"No! Please stop!"_

_"You know you want it you fucking slut!"_

"NO!" I cried quickly sliding my hand against the flat side of the blade and pushed Kili's sward away. Quickly using this to my advantage, I turned into him grabbing his hand with both of mine, tweaking his wrist back. He let out a grunt of surprise as his sword fell to the ground. With no hesitation, Kili wrapped one arm around my neck in a choke hold. I immediately moved my neck so I faced the crook of his neck, making it almost impossible for him to chock me out. I grabbed his forearm with my left hand and shoulder with my right. Still trying to make sure he didn't choke me out or take me to the floor, I maneuvered a bit to my right before I stopped struggling all together. Kili seemed thrown off by my action as his grip loosened a bit.

"Sorry Kili." I could feel his face turn to look at mine. Not giving him a second to recover, I pushed my hip into his as fast and hard as I could while pulling his arm over my shoulders throwing Kili onto the ground knocking the wind out of him in the process. Hastily I grabbed my sword and pointed it as Kili's throat. The young dwarf slowly held up both hands, eyes wide with shock as he tried to catch his breath.

"Well it seems she has some fight in her after all." Gandalf said with a chuckle.

Breathing hard, I held out a hand to help the brunette stand, but he shoved my hand away and stood with a scowl. Brooding, he gathered his swords and mounted his pony.

My jaw tensed. I knew that he never expected me to win. None of them did. I looked over at Thorin. It was very clear that he too was brooding at the outcome. But a man of his word, for now, he ordered the others to give Bilbo a pony.

"N-no no. That won't be necessary. And what about May?" The question had Thorin pause.

"Fine. Give her a pony as well."

I felt a smile tug at my lips as I silently thanked Bilbo.

I heard Bilbo cry out, turning I saw Fili and Kili had pulled him up on to a pony and I laughed as I watched Bilbo pout a bit. He seemed very uncomfortable riding. As his pony passed me by, I realized I hadn't been told which pony to take. Kili said nothing as he trotted past me. I frowned.

"You fought well miss." Looking up at the Blonde, he gave a small smile. I opened my mouth when Thorin called for Fili to ride ahead. I felt a pout form as I just stood there. I should have felt proud. But I felt like in this case. I really lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Kuso! = Shit!
> 
> Chotto Matte! = Wait!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Losing Control

I watched as the others went on not bothering to look back.  _Guess that's it then.._. Turning back I began making my way back to Bag End. My head slumped and I stopped in my tracks.  _I'm not heading home, I just heading back to a stranger's home._  I groaned. Frustrated with myself, the situation I was in and the damn silence. Looking off the road, I stormed over to a tree and threw the backpack down. I dropped myself against the tree and stared up at the clear sky as I took several deep breaths. The sound of the wind rustling the tree leaves created a soothing rhythm with the beating of my heart. It didn't take long for me to calm down and think rationally.

"Ok you have two choices. You can go back where you don't know anyone or you can follow the heard where you weren't wanted. Hmmm decisions decisions." I puffed my cheeks and looked at the bag I had thrown down. Shrugging I reached for the bag. Opening it up, I noticed some spare clothes. I smiled softly to myself as I realized that Bilbo seemed to take care of thinking what I would need. Bilbo Baggins was a cranky hobbit, but still a very considerate and sweet hobbit. I paused my searching when I noticed something metal at the bottom of the sack. Cocking my head to the side and squinting my eyes in curiosity I slowly reached for it. My hand touched the cold surface and as I wrapped my hand around it, I snagged what felt like wires. My heart stopped. Pulling out my iTouch, a wide smile grew on my face.

"AHA!"

I jumped up in shock as I held the on thing to remind me of home.

_How-….When did he?_

Pressing the menu button, I realized it was still fully charged and worked fine. Calming down, I felt a warmth spread through my heart.  _Damn you Bilbo Baggins._

Putting the backpack on, I stood up and put in my earphones before pressing play.  _Even if they hate me, I'm doing this for Bilbo...That's it_.

As Ailee's "I'll Show You" began to play, I began jogging after the group.

It took about 6 songs before I managed to catch up with the group but still had energy to burn. I had forgotten how pumped I get when I listen to music and run on the treadmill. Once I find a good pace, I felt like I can go on forever. Reaching the rear of the group, I slowly picked up the pace easily passing the nephews of Thorin. I can't hold back the smirk as I watch their mouths drop. I knew that I should have put away my ipod, but the brat in me just thought, "Bite me." I find Bilbo riding towards the front with Gandalf, while Thorin is still a few feet ahead of everyone else.

It's when I start slowing my pace that I realize how much I pushed myself and not wanting to let the others see me out of breath, I breath in deep through my nose. Taking out my earphones and draping them over my neck, I look up at Bilbo with a smile.

"Mister Bilbo."

"Miss May!" I chuckled as the hobbit jumped in his saddle. "Why are you not on your pony?"

With a click of my tongue, I shoot a glare at Kili who had his eyes on his hands. It was obvious he heard the question.  _Good, he should. Jerk._  Looking back at Bilbo and a curious wizard.

"I didn't want to add to the load the pony was carrying." I shrugged. "Besides, I wanted to thank you for packing my things. Especially this." I said holding out my ipod.

"I am still not sure what it is, but I figured it must be important to you." I smiled and nodded looking down at it.

"What is it?" I looked up at him with a questioning look. Bilbo motioned at the bag.

"Oh! It's um…It's…" I paused.

How do you explain an ipod to someone who has no idea what mp3s or electronics are? Looking at Gandalf for some kind of help, he stared at me with anticipation of my answer.

"Its like a music box." I said weakly.

Looking up at the hobbit and wizard, they seemed more confused than ever. I gave an embarrassed smile.

"I'll explain later, right now I need to go talk with the leader of this company." With a curt nod to the two, I jogged up the trail to Thorin's Pony.

I wasn't sure if Thorin was aware of my presence with their burglar or simply ignored it, but either way I jogged up until I was right walking right beside the lead pony.

"So!"

The sound of my voice made Thorin tense and it took all I had to bite back my laugh. While the dwarf still scared me, I was now in too good a mood to even let him dampen my spirits. Thorin looked down with a glare, not slowing or stopping his pony for a second.

"I thought you would have been back on your way home by now."

"Nope. Sorry." I said practically skipping by now as I looked ahead of us.. It was beautiful and the breeze felt nice on my now sweaty face. I could see Thorin's features darken from the corner of my eye. But I forced myself to keep my eyes forward not wanting this dwarf to see my confidence falter.

"Very well. But I will not be accountable for what happens to you and I cannot assure that you will live to make it back."

I could feel the blood run from my veins. Having convinced myself I was indeed not dreaming, the truth behind his words were more severe.

"I know." I said quietly.

Thorin said nothing else for the next few minutes as we walked side by side and for a moment I wasn't sure if he had heard me.

"Kili!" I couldn't help but jump as Thorin shouted for his nephew. Nor could I help the tension run through my body at the sounds of hooves cantering closer.

Looking over my shoulder, I jumped when I saw a large nose right next to me. I looked up to see Kili looking at his uncle. "Get her a pony." A smile appeared on my face as I looked at Thorin.

"What?! Really?!"

My smile faded as both Thorin and Kili glared down at me. I quickly shifted my eyes to the ground.

"Thorin, the ponies are already carrying too much." My head shoots up at Kili.  _What the hell is that supposed to mean_ _?!_ Kili doesn't look at me, but instead keeps a steady gaze on his uncle.

"Fine, she will ride with you then."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Stopping dead in my tracks I stare at the dark haired dwarf bewildered.  _Really? Of all the dwarves, you pair me up with a guy who's bent out of shape cause a girl beat him. What the hell!?_

A hand waves in front of my face and I can't help but beat it away like an annoying nat before looking up. Kili is looking at me, less than amused as he holds out a hand for me to grab. I noticed that he no longer had his sword nor bow and arrows on his back. I was confused for a bit before glancing at the pony's saddle I caught sight the top of the bow sticking up on the the side of the saddle. I hesitantly turned to the other dwarves, for the first time since they left me behind. All wait in silence as if to wonder what I was going to do. I can't help but feel the same tension swell in my chest as last night. Sucking in a quick breath I see Fili in the back. He gives me a soft smile and wink. It was reassuring and weirdly comforting to have the blonde on my side.

I gave a tight smile back before turning back to Kili's hand. After a second or two of hesitating, I reached out and was pulled up behind him.

With that, the others began moving again, each giving a slight bow of their heads to me. Smiling Bofur and Balin welcomed me to the company. It felt good to hear that but it wasn't enough to make me forget I was riding with Kili. He didn't give me any warning as he gave the pony a kick causing me to jerk back. I cringed as a squeak escaped from me and my hands clutched the back of Kili's cloak.

"You are full of many surprises." Slowly I open my eyes to find Fili beside me and his brother.

"Thanks." I said meekly.

"I don't believe we were formally introduced. Fili, at your service. This is my brother, Kili." Bowing my head I introduced myself, ignoring the brunette's scoff. Before either Fili or myself could say anything else, Kili gave a hard kick to the pony causing it to speed up just short of a gallop.

My body jerked back as I let out a small yelp. I didn't think, I just wrapped my arms around his waist as I held on to dear life.. The sound of breathing against my ear, the feeling of a solid muscular frame against my body. Opening my eyes, my body tensed as I realized that I was tightly pressed up against the back of Kili.

"If I had known you were so afraid of riding, I would have let you continue on foot." Whether he was joking or mocking me, I didn't know.

Taking my hands from around his waist and holding onto the back of his cloak like reins, I straightened up, putting as much space as possible between us.

"I'm not scared of riding. I almost fell."

Hearing Fili's laugh, I shot him a glare. Catching my eye, the blonde's laughter switched to coughing as he looked anywhere but me.

"I love riding." I continued. "I just like the idea of having my own horse."

That was the end of our little banter. Leaning to the side a bit, I could see the others. They weren't far, maybe 5 feet ahead. The trail now, for the grass has long covered it that lay ahead of us were rolling mountains and hills of lush green trees and grass. Similar to the land that I first found myself in when I woke up.

* * *

It had been a good two hours since we left the shire. Content with hearing the sounds of birds, and the rocking of the pony, I let out a yawn. I was always horrible at staying awake for rode trips and this was no different. I struggled to fight off sleep only to lose.

I dreamt I was home. I was telling my dad how I dreamt I was in Middle Earth. He laughed at me and asked if it was like the book or movie. His laughter echoed in my mind as I slowly woke. Still drowsy I lifted my head from the solid surface and looked up. I saw a rock wall, blinking a few times through sleepy eyes, I turned my head to the solid form i lay against. Slowly I nuzzled my face against it before shift my head the other my eyes open, I was greeted by the sun setting behind the horizon of the low mountains and trees. The sky a brilliant orange followed by a deep purple. It was only when I looked down and saw the drop of the cliff that I let out a yelp and burried my face into the solid surface I was holding.

The sound of laughing broke my fear and suddenly I remembered I was holding Kili…again. I felt my cheeks burn as I slowly pulled my hands from his waist and grabbed the back of his cloak again.

"Sorry." I mumbled looking at my hands.

"Sorry? For what?" I rolled my eyes and was about to call him out for on playing dumb. However, when I looked up I noticed he had turned his head to look at me. While he seemed amused, he didn't seem insincere either.

"For uh…For falling asleep on you and holding on to you." I said averting my eyes back to my fidgety hands.

His soft laughter drifted to my ears, I didn't know what was so funny, but I still didn't want to look at him.

"There's nothing to apologize for. You had a long day."

The kindness in his voice was reassuring and I couldn't help but wonder what brought about this change. Biting the inside of my cheek, as I looked ahead. A quick look back and my eyes locked onto the blonde. He cocked a brow at me. I did the same before motioning to his brother with me head. The blonde gave a knowing smirk before he shrugged his shoulders innocently. I broke out into a smile to which he did the same.

"Thank you." I mouthed before turning back around.

My eyes drifted back to the sunset. It wasn't everyday I got to see them. Especially in such a place like this. There would probably be another hour at most before night fall. The thought had me frown as I recalled this moment. It was when Bilbo first hears the orcs _._

"We're here." Balin said.

Gathering on to the top of the mountain, everyone begins dismounting. Bilbo was helped down by Gandalf. Kili gracefully lifted his right leg over the ponies head as he dismounted before turning to me and holding his arms up. The gesture was surprising and flattering up. Giving a small smile I shook my head as I maneuvered myself onto the saddle before gracefully dismounting. Kili opened his mouth to say something when Thorin called his name. With Kili walking away, I walked up to Bofur who setting up a fire and sat down cross-legged, taking off my bag in the process.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" I asked.

"No lassie, we have everything we need. Just need to get a fire going before night fall." He said with a smile.

I watched Bofur hit the flint stones together creating small sparks but nothing was catching fire. A giant figure kneel beside me causing me to jump. With no words, I watched in fascination as the wizards leaned in close to the wood. Covering his hand with his mouth, he ever so gently blew. Smoke began to rise and before long the wood caught fire.

"There we go! Now why don't you go rest Miss May. You've proved yourself enough for tonight." He smiled sincerely as I looked at him.

I gave a small smile and nod accepting his words. I couldn't help but feel that I should've been doing something as I was now a part of the company. But he was right everyone was already getting their mats ready or already half asleep. It was then I realized there wasn't really a place to sleep. With just enough space where I was, to sit, it was not enough to sit and too close to the fire at that. Slowly I maneuvered myself around the sleeping forms and leaned against a nearby tree. For a while I watched the others. It was all still hard to believe being here. A part of me was excited and the other part wanting nothing more than to be in the safety of my room reading or listening to my music.

_But you aren't home. You're here so for now you have to deal with it. Shikataganai._

Taking a deep breath, I gave a small nod and walked around the tree to star out at the low lands. It was too dark to see anything, but light enough to make out the silhouette of the trees. The sound of the wind blowing and the sight of the starts that decorated the night sky. It was beautiful and in a way soothing. Just not soothing enough to stop the chill of the wind and drop in temperature from affecting me.

It wasn't long before my body was shivering. I clenched my jaw and took deep breaths to control the chills but it wasn't helping. Bringing my knees to my chest, I quickly wrapped my arms around my legs. It did little to keep me warm as my teeth began to chatter with every breath I took.

"Here you are!" Jumping a bit, I turned to find Kili staring down at me. "What are you doing over here?"

I shrugged looking at the ground. "C-couldn't s-sleep."

"Is that all?" He said sitting beside me.

I didn't respond. A light breeze past over the mountain top sending a shiver down my spine.

"I...I wanted to apologize. For earlier."

Meeting his eye, I couldn't help but give a small smile and nod.

"Is there any way we can start over?"

"Yea, we can do that." I said with a laugh.

With a smile and wink, the dwarf swiftly stood to his feet and bowed. "Kili, at your service."

Standing on shaky legs, I didn't bother bowing at the waist. Rather I held out my hand. "May, at yours."

The dwarf stared at my hand for a while and for a moment I wondered if I had unintentionally insulted him. Kili gently reached out and took my hand before his eyes raised with concern.

"Your hands are like ice! Why are you not near the fire? " I winced as he voiced raised a bit. Ducking my head I responded. "There wasn't any room for me…and I didn't want to bother having anyone move for me."

Kili let out an exasperated sigh. Still holding my hand, he led me to the fire, sitting me down beside his brother, before plopping down on the other side of me.

"Keep them there." He said as he forced my hands infront of the fire. The heat of the fire spread up my hands, arms then through the rest of my numb body causing me to shiver with delight. The feeling was greatly welcomed and I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face.

"You seem to have a habit of disappearing on us miss...I don't believe I did get your name."

I blushed at the voice next to me. "May."

My stomach twisted as a smile played on the dwarfs lips. "A Pleasure, May. So may I why it is that you keep your distance?"

My stomach dropped.  _I wasn't expecting that._  Turning my attention back to the flame I ignored the question and thankfully the blonde didn't push.

Movement amongst the sleeping bodies caught my eye. Slowly I lifted my gaze to find Bilbo move around the dwarves with an apple in hand. My lips twitched remembering how he fed the pony he rode. The echo of a horrid cry from the distance had Bilbo startled.

"What was that?"

"Orcs." Kili said calmly. I watched as Bilbo quickly made his way back to the fire.

"Orcs!?"

The word was enough to alert Thorin from his slumber.

"Throat cutters." Kili continued. "There'll be dozens of them out there. The low lands are crawling with them. They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet. No screams. Just a lot of blood."

I heard them laugh knowing they scared Bilbo, but I found myself feeling the same fear Bilbo had _._ What used to amuse me before was no longer something I was watching from the safety of my home. This was real...or at least felt real.  _The chasing, the attacks, the battle, all this was going to happen. Orcs are vicious. They're blood thirsty and strong. What if I can't fight them? What if I get caught?_

Images of arms grabbing me, holding me down as I thrash about and cry out in pain flash before my eyes. Suddenly I jumped to my feet, ignoring the protest of the others and quickly hurried past Gandalf. I don't know how far I had gone until I couldn't hold it in much longer. Throwing my right arm against the wall of the mountain before releasing the contents of my stomach. Tears fell from my eyes on to the dirt ground. Covering my mouth with my left hand I tried desperately to keep from crying out.

* * *

Translations:

Shikataganai = It can't be helped.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken a while to upload this new chapter. I initially had this story up on fanfiction.net, but took a 2 year hiatus from it. Re-reading it, I found I didn't really like how it read and decided to re-write my whole story. I hope that those who have read my work from ff.net enjoy this re-write. Comments and critique are appreciated. Ta! ^_^


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Tensions Run High

The overwhelming nausea hit again. However by now it was only dry heaves.

"May!" My head shot up at my name. Wiping around, the others stand just a few feet away, eyes wide with fear and caution.

The words died before they could come out as I watched the dwarves eyes roll back before they fell to the floor dead. I staggered back in horror as the world shifted around me. No longer was I on the mountain but stood in the middle of a battlefield. Orcs, men, elves. Their bodies lay everywhere. Hearing a booming voice I spun around to see Azog standing next to the Thorin and his nephews. Thorin lay motionless on the pile of bodies. His nephews held down by orc minions. A sadistic smile spreads across Azogs face as he commands two of his servants to go after me. I quickly tried to get away but they were too fast. I screamed out as their hands grab hold of me.

"Nooo! Let me GO!"I thrashed about trying to get it off of me. Feeling another one grab hold of me I threw an elbow to one of the orcs nose. I can hear him cry out in pain. Taking advantage of his release I tried to break the others hold on me. My hopes of escaping were dashed when a pair of strong arms wrap around my arms and chest.

"You will watch them die!" The breath against my neck made my blood run cold and I opened my eyes. Azog stood before Fili. The blond forced to stand, mouth bleeding and eyes unfocused. The pale orc's smile spread as his runs his blade of a hand through the young dwarf.

"NO!" I cried out. Tears fall down my face.

"Please! Stop!"

It was no use. He had long lost interest in me as he made his way over to the youngest heir.

"PLEASE! KILI!"

Azogs pulled his arm back as he used his other hand to pull Kili's head back. In one switch movement, Kili's body fell to the ground. His head still in the hands of the orc.

I let out an anguished scream. The orc tosses the head aside and turns his attention back to me. He said something I couldn't understand, but I was familiar with the look in his eyes. I let out another scream as I thrashed about.

"NO! DON'T!"

"Get off her!" The gruff voiced caught me by surprise.

The strong arms loosened around me for a brief moment before letting go entirely. I fell to the ground only to feel another pair of hands grab my shoulders.

"May! May!"

Kili's voice became louder and more clear. I snapped my eyes open, unaware of when I had closed them. I frantically scanned my surroundings. The bodies and battlefield were gone. I was back on the mountain. Everything was silent except for the sound of heavy breathing. I began to shake with quiet sobs as a glove covered cups my face, gently forcing me to face the owner of the hand. Familiar brown eyes locked onto mine.

"Hey, it's alright. You're safe." He whispered.

I stared at him in disbelief for a moment before throwing my arms around him. I didn't know why I did that, but feeling him wrap his arms around me was a relief.

We remained like that for several minutes. My crying had ceased a while ago. Yet Kili didn't let go. He just gently rubbed my back as he whispered words of comfort. It had been so long since I had let myself get this intimate.  _I never want this moment to end._  My eyes snapped open and tensed I shuddered.  _Where did that come from!?_  I took a deep breath and ever so slowly moved my hands to Kili's chest pushing some space between us.

Kili's arms let go without resistance but they didn't move from my sides. A mixture of shame and embarrassment began to swell in me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled keeping my eyes low.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Kili insisted, lifting me head. His eyes held no sign of pity or insincerity. A shiver ran though my body but I didn't know if it was because of the cold or fatigue. Shifting a bit, I couldn't help but wonder why I was so sore.

_"Get off her!"_

The voice replayed in my mind as I thought back to my hallucination. The realization that it was Kili saying that, and not an orc, made me look behind him. The company was silent and still as they watched Kili and I. Seeing the blood drying from Dwalin's nose, I gasped. It may have been a hallucination but the tackling and fighting was very much real. A sudden wave of fear and guilt hit me. Surely I wouldn't be allowed to join now.

"Please, don't blame yourself. They have been through worse." Kili cupped my face.

Realizing I was leaning into his touch, I paused and gently pulled his hand away. I wasn't sure what to say. But it seemed the dwarf didn't want to hear anything else as he gently lifted me up in his arms and carried me back to camp. I said nothing as I starred in awe at the dwarf. Why was he so understanding? Why was he carrying when I could easily walk?

It was then I realized how far I had run from camp. I had led the dwarves away from the safety of the fire and into more trouble. Quick flashes of the hallucination came back. I shuddered but pushed the thoughts away.

Kili gently placed me onto the bed roll he had been sitting on earlier that night. I didn't fight as he gently pushed me to lay back.

"Sleep." With that he gave me a small pat on my head and walked around to sit with his brother.

* * *

When I woke up, I found myself facing a now cold pile of ashes and pieces of charred wood. Slowly pushing myself to sit up, my legs folded to my side, I stretched. Looking at the sky, it was barely light out and the chorus of snores told me that the rest of the company. I saw Thorin was back at his post asleep. Gandalf sleeping with his pipe. Nothing seemed different or out of place, until I recalled my earlier breakdown. The panic attack, vomiting, crying, struggling and biting the dwarves, Kili.  _Kili!_

I looked around to find that Kili and Fili weren't among the sleeping company. Looking over at the ponies, I spotted them sitting beside each other. Their backs to the company. Their bodies weren't moving much, but the smoke coming from Fili's pipe indicated they weren't asleep. Slowly I got up and made my way over to them.

"What do you think happened last night?" Upon hearing Fili's voice, I paused in mid-step. Kili shrugged but said nothing. "I don't think I have ever seen a person experience such fear as she did." Kili nodded in agreement.

"Thorin is already unhappy with the hobbit in our company. Now with May…" Kili let out a sigh as Fili swung his arm around his brother.

"I know."

"I'm starting to believe that Uncle was right in leaving her behind. She will only slow us down!" Kili hissed. Fili nodded as he let his arm fall from his brothers shoulders. "She should have just gone home and never come with us."

His words were true. I knew that. But that didn't stop the aching pain in my chest. Swallowing the lump that formed in my throat, I walked back to where I lay when I awoke. Eyes stinging from un-shed tears, I lay facing the rock wall.

 _Shikataganai. It's too late to take back what happened last night. All I can do now, is keep out of everyone's way. If i'm not noticed then maybe they won't send me away._ Fear gnawed at the back of my mind causing my stomach to twist and turn. What would happen if I were forced to leave?

* * *

At the first light of sun, everyone was up and moving about. Loading the ponies. Small banter between Bofur and Bomber seemed to help the tension gaining a few chuckles from the others and soon enough we were moving again. All the while, I said nothing. Kili gave no indication of me riding with him, so it was a relief to me when I took the last pony for myself with no complaints.

For 3 hours we rode with me at the end. I didn't join in the singing, I didn't join in on the casual chatter. I just rode in silence. Taking in our surroundings and watching the group. There was no missing Fili, as he occasionally shot me a look of concern, but they went ignored. In fact I was trying so hard to ignore him, I didn't even notice Bofur riding to the back until he was riding beside me.

"You alright lass? Awfully quiet today." He said startling me out of my thoughts.

I hesitated before settling on a nod.

"You know, what happened last night? There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The dwarf gave a sympathetic smile before handing me a brown cloak.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Might rain. This should help keep you warm."

"Thank you. But why -"

"The way I see it lass," he interrupted. "You've proved yourself back in Bag End. You obviously along way from home and it's understandable to be scared."

Holding the cloak close to me, I swallowed around the lump in my throat and attempted a smile.

"Thank you. Really. Thank you." I said softly.

"If any of the others give you any bother. You let old Bofur or Bomber know...Uh...Bofur, at your service. Bomber is the round one...well the one who eats the most."

I let out a loud laugh, earning a smile from the older dwarf. "I'll keep that in mind."

"If Gandalf has faith in you and Mister Bilbo, then I have faith in you too."

With a tip of his head, Bofur rode ahead. Slowly I wrapped the cloak around me. His words were the exact opposite of what I had expected, but gave me hope that maybe not all the dwarves hated me.

* * *

The trail ride was just like in the movie. It poured for hours. Nori complained that Gandalf should do something and Bilbo asked about the other wizards. Like Nori the other dwarves seemed just as miserable. Had it not been for the fact that it rarely rains back home, I probably would have been just as miserable. But I enjoyed the change in weather. Tilting my head up, I revelled in the feeling of the rain drops hitting my face. Yes it was cold. Yes I was getting drenched, which made the cloak I wore to be completely useless, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Straightening up, I found myself humming "Singing in the Rain", letting my body sway with the gate of the pony.

I wasn't sure how much longer it rained but soon the clouds gave way to the sun. It wouldn't be until midday that we would reach a torn down farm and Thorin would had everyone stop. Gandalf was the first to dismount to inspect the barn.

"Fili! Kili! Watch after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them." Thorin barked as he followed the wizard. The rest slowly hopped off their ponies and unloaded their packs. I had barely started to untie the rope holding down the pack on my pony when I heard Gandalf yell.

"I've had enough of dwarves for one day." He muttered to himself as he walked down the hill. No one said anything for a moment before slowly going back to unpacking. In no time at all, the ponies were tied up, the fire had be set and Bifur and Nori went hunting for food before it got dark.

"Is there anything you need me to do or help with?" I asked walking over to Bofur. He stoked the fire a bit before turning his attention to me.

"Well I have everything in control here. The lads might need help with the pones though." He said nodding in the direction of Fili and Kili.

The mention of them made my stomach drop. The reaction didn't go unnoticed to the older dwarf who let out a small sigh and patted the ground next to him.

"Sit down lass. What's the matter?"

Folding my legs under me, I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Bofur laid a gentle hand on my back and leaned close.

"Its nothing."

"I may be old lass, but I've still got eyes. What happened between three of you?"

My mind was torn. Tell the dwarf what I over heard, which only brought about a strong feeling of guilt. For what reason, I wasn't sure. Maybe I didn't want to rat them out, paint them in a bad light.  _But what is really bad of them? It was in a way true. I could admit that._

"I never should come."

"Who told you that lass?" The question startled me and I realized I must started thinking out loud. Swallowing the lump that began to form in my throat, I could tell the dwarf was less than pleased. "Did they tell you that?"

"N-no!" I immediately shook my head but the dwarf didn't buy it. "N-not to me. I over heard them talking and Kili...He was mad-but he had every right to be. I should even be here. I - "

"Want me to go talk with hi-"

"NO!" I winced at how loud it came out. "No. Please. It'll just make things worse. I promise. I'll try to make it less noticeable." I whispered, all the while silently pleading with him to have mercy.

"Lass." Bofur sighed. "Like I said before. You proved yourself to me. Kili...He's still young and whatever Fili said. I'm sure he just said it to comfort his brother. I've seen the way he is with you. He respects you. Just as much as I do. Maybe even more."

He gave me a little shove and a wink and with that I was unable to hold back a smile. Bofur laughed out loud before patting me on the back.

"There's that smile. Now, why don't you go rest for a bit?"

I nodded and thanked him before standing up and stretching. Not really wanting to sit anymore, I went to my pack and grabbed my ipod.

"I'm gonna go take a walk." I said passing Bofur with a small bow.

Walking past the house, I had managed to find a clearing of land, far enough so that I could still hear the dwarves voices faint in the distance and but close enough to hear if something happened. The trees formed a circle around the clearing, and the bushes made it a little easier to conceal me. Walking around I checked the surroundings to make sure there was no danger. With that, I put the right earphone in my ear, and searched my itouch for Miss A's 'Good Girl Bad Girl'. As soon as the music started, my body began to move. Repeating the dance steps I had practiced in my room as I watched the dance tutorial over and over. I had several passions in life and dancing was one of them. It was fun and just let my mind focus on the steps and music.

I was so focused on the music as it reached the last chorus before the bridge, I didn't see nor hear Kili trying to get my attention behind me. So it makes sense that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I was in mid hip swing and turned my head to find him staring at me. I yelped and quickly pulled the earpiece out.

"Oh my god!" I shouted

Clutching my chest, I gasped for air as I tried to get my heart to stop feeling like it was going to burst out. "What the hell?!"

"What in Durin were you doing?" He said his jaw slightly slack.

"I...I was dancing. Not that it should matter to you." I hissed, shoving my ipod in my trouser pocket.

"You think I'm a fool? I've never seen dancing like that." Kili glared, his arms folded.

"Yea...Well it's dancing where I'm from. And where I'm from, it's creepy spying on someone while they're dancing!"

The comment shook Kili as his eyes widened before his narrowed his eyes and stormed up til he was inches away from me.

"I can promise you that if I were to spy on anything, it would be because they were my prey." He sneered. If it hadn't been for the small smirk that pulled on his lips and the glint of mischief in his eyes, I would have taken it as a threat. Instead I felt my heart beating faster and a blush spread over my body.

_He does realize how that sounds right? It can't just be me._

"Thorin wants everyone at camp before it gets dark." With that he turned on his feet and walked away, leaving me to stand speechless and wondering what just happened.

* * *

**Translation:**

**Shikataganai = It can't be helped.**


	7. Chapter 7

The star shined bright that night. The brisk air and sound of a crackling fire. The fresh air, mixed with damp dirt and trees; and for a moment, since my first night in Bag End, I began to wonder if this was a dream. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and counted to three. Slowly opening my eyes, I frown slightly.  _Nothing. I wonder if anyone even came looking for me. My dad would have loved to have seen this. Mom would have enjoyed this too._ Imagining my parents reaction brought a smile to my lips. But just as quick as it came, it disappeared. I missed my parents. I missed my home. My home that I wasn't even sure if I was every going to see again.

Pushing aside my pain, I watched Bofur making the stew. The Dwarves slowly stood and made a line. Each thanking Bofur before returning to their saeats. Bilbo didn't bother as he stared out into the distance.

"He's been a long time." Bilbo marched over to Bofur's side.

"Who?" I smiled as I watched Bomber eagerly wait for seconds.

"Gandalf!" Bilbo exclaimed putting his hands on his hips as he stared out to the distance.

"He's a wizard. He does as he chooses. Here! Do us a favor?" Handing over the two dishes to Bilbo he nods his head in the direction of Fili and Kili. "Take this to the lads." I bite my lip to hold in a laugh as I watch Bomber make a beeline for the spoon to fill his bowl again. He isn't quick enough the and his hands are batted away by Bofur. "Stop it! You've had plenty."

I laugh again catching Bofur's attention.

"Well it's true." I smile at Bofur and slowly get up bringing my empty bowl with me. "You know that you didn't have to wait so long." His voice turning from humor to concern.

"I know. I just…" The sound of my stomach grumbling made me pause. I winced looking away as I handed over my bowl.

"Eeh!? That's too much!" I protested upon seeing the bowl filled to the rim.

"The way I see it lass, you're the skinniest person here and need some fattening up. So eat up."

 _I need fattening up?_  The comment confused me, but at the growling of my stomach, I ignored it for now. I gave a small bow and returned to my seat.

Hesitant at first I scooped up some broth and held it up to my nose to sniff. It didn't smell bad. It smelled…meat, I suppose would be the correct word. I looked up to see Dwalin, Dori and Bomber watching me.  _Please stop looking at me_. I tensed up and found myself looking around for another place to sit. Sadly, the only place to go where I wouldn't be watched would be too far from the camp site.

Resorting to closing my eyes, I slowly brought the spoon up to my lips and took a sip. I opened my eyes and licked my lips.  _Huh._ It wasn't like anything I had before, but it was good. So with a shrug, I grabbed another spoonful. As soon as I began to eat, I realized just how hungry I had actually been. The warmth of the food making me smile with glee and the feeling of something in my stomach was comforting.

It didn't take long before the stew was gone. Feeling full, I put my bowl down with a sigh as I sat up straight to stretch. The sound of laughter caught my attention. Opening my eyes and looking across from me, I saw Dwalin and Nori smiling. I wiped my mouth subconsciously thinking I had food on my mouth.

"Take it you like the food miss." Dori said laughing.

"Yea. I was kind of hungry." I said trying to hide my blush.

Dwalin was about to speak when his smile faded as he turned his attention to the hill. Fili and Kili were making their way back to camp and fast.

"Some trolls took the ponies and Bilbo has gone to get them back." Fili said to Thorin.

Thorin growled before walking over to his gear and grabbing his sword. The others follow suit and hurried down the hill. For a moment, I hesitated, unsure whether I should stay or help out. With a deep breath, I began to follow when Kili stepped in my path.

"No. You stay here."

"I'm not going to just stay here Ki-" The dwarf cut me off and pushed me back to the fire.

"Stay here and don't move!" I glare at Kili as he turns to walk away.

"Why can't I come? I can help!" I stated. Kili spun around. His eyes like daggers causing me to take a small step back.

"You will only get in the way. Just stay here and watch the camp." My mouth dropped open. Several times, I tried saying something but I was to shocked and angry.

"Just stay." Rolling his eyes, the dwarf turned and walked away.

Logic side of me told me Kili was right. I had no weapons, no way to really help the dwarves or Bilbo and if I were caught, I would put them in more danger. But the other part of me told me that unlike the others, I knew where this was headed. I knew what was going to happen, what was happening now. Sadly logic didn't win this argument.

"I'm going with you and you can't stop me!"

Kili stopped and quickly made his way back to me.

"You will listen to me or so help me I will-"

"Or you'll what?!" His jaw tensed but I continued. "Continue to treat me like a hopeless child or tell your brother I'm just in the way? Fuck you Kili! I'm sorry I beat you! I'm sorry I can actually defend myself!"

"Like you defended yourself last night, right?" He spat back.

For a moment, I said nothing. Anger shifting to embarrassment, shame. Pain. The scowl on Kili's face fell as he realized what he said. The young dwarf opened his mouth but I quickly shoved past him trying desperately to forget about my moment of weakness.

"I'm going and you can't stop me." I muttered.

I didn't get more than three feet before, I felt a pair of hands turn me around and I was thrown over Kili's shoulder. I had never felt so ridiculous as I did at that moment. I kicked, and squirmed and screamed. It was definitely a sight I was very happy no one else was able to witness. But what else could I do? The dwarf gave me no options as he wouldn't put me down and I was too upset to care if I hurt him or not.

"Put me down!" I cried.

Feeling Kili's hands at my waits, I was set down abruptly. It was darker over here, away from the fire. I glared at Kili before trying to make a run for the others. Kili quickly stopped me with a grunt and held me in place. I tried pulling away, but his grip tightened. Shifting his stance, his grip around me remained strong. Feeling him move, I noticed that he was kicking the remains of the wooden fence from the house. The fence didn't budge surprisingly. For a moment, I stopped fighting, too confused by his actions.

"Kili! Let me go! Please!" My voice soft and pleas weak.

He didn't look at me nor did he say anything. Just did as I said and let go. His attention dropped to his trousers and he began undoing his belt. My eyes widened, fearing the worst. I staggered back but a hand shot out, latching onto my wrist.

"This is for your own good." He said quietly.

"Kili, please! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't do this!" My lower lip trembled as I shook my head. is

Before I knew what was going on, Kili pushed me on to my knees facing the post. It was then that I noticed his belt looped around the wooden bar. I finally understood his intentions and tried to once again get away but it was to no avail. With a matter of moment, the belt looped around my wrists like make shift cuffs. I pulled and squirmed around trying to loosen them but they wouldn't budge. Turning back to Kili, I saw him run off without another word.

"Kili! Come back!" My cries went unanswered.

* * *

_I'm going to kill him when I get out of these._

I quickly maneuver my seating position so I am no longer sitting on my knees but on my butt. Lifting my legs up, I place them against the bar and push, hoping to break the bar with my legs and the pull of the belt. It was no use. The only thing it did was strain my shoulders. I sat for what seemed like half an hour. I knew soon it would be sun rise light blue beyond the horizon was any indication. Soon they would be tied up only to be saved by Bilbo and Gandalf. They find the troll cave and then the orcs would come. I would be too far behind to catch up.

My breath hitched at the thought

_Surely they would notice though…That I wasn't with them…_

Frantically I pulled at my bindings before I shifted my position and gave the knot a quick once-over before I attempted to pick at it with me teeth. It wasn't doing much as far as untying the knott, but I could feel the belt shift. Quickly I began pulling at different angles, all the while wiggling my wrist back and forth to escape. I wasn't sure how long I had been working. Looking up towards the horizon, I see a glimmer of light.

_It's almost sunrise._

My arms and jaw were sore from the pulling and tugging. But by then I had the loop of the belt now confined right below the knuckle of my thumb. I quickly shifted my feet, placing them on the flat surface of the wooden fence. With what strength I had left, I pushed back. I cried out in pain as the leather ran against my slightly bloody and raw skin. Falling onto my back, I held my arms against me as I breathed against the pain.

Cries echoed through the valley. It was my cue to move. Slowly I sat up careful not to have the sleeves of Bilbo's shirt touch my raw skin. I let out a hiss as I staggered to my feet. My body sore and fatigued. Taking a few staggered steps, I paused to take a deep breath. With a long sigh, I pushed on.

By the time I got down to the others, they were already untying each other and getting dressed. Finding the nearest tree, finding myself too exhausted to go any further. Taking advantage of their ignorance of my presence, I mentally checked off each dwarf.

_Bofur, Bomber, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Fili, Gloin…_

I stopped counting as I lay eyes on Kili and Fili. While Fili had his back to me, Kili is not. I knew that in the movie, all the actors aside from Ian McKellen, wore fat suits. But these dwarves wore no fat suits. My eyes wandered across Fili's back. The muscles moving beneath the thin cloth. Slowly I shifted my gave to Kili as he stretched. My mouth dropped and eyes wide like saucers when I realized just how revealing and tight the long johns were. Heat crept up my cheeks and immediately ducked behind the tree pulling my hand up to my mouth.

_Oh god oh god. I saw nothing. Nothing at all._

The loud knock of stone snapped me out of it. Pushing the image of Kili's body out of my mind, I peak around the other side of the tree to find Gandalf look up at the now stone troll with a bemused smile.

"Where did you go if I may ask?" Thorin walked up to Gandalf, still angry that he left to begin with.

"To look ahead."

"What brought you back?"

"Looking behind." He responded with a smile. The brunette responded with a smirk as the wizard continued. "Nasty business. Still there all in one piece." His matter of fact tone made me smile. I watched as Thorin's gaze darkened.

"No thanks to your burglar."

Trying to get closer, I lost my balance and fell forward. Without thought I swiftly put my right hand back to catch my fall. A shot pain ran up my arm and I couldn't help but yelp. Rolling onto my back, I let out a hiss as I clutched my wrist.

"Who's there?" The baritone voice made me wince.

Silently I cursed as I stood up. Everyone stared as I walked around the tree to Thorin.

"Where were you?" The accusation was not hidden in his voice.

"I…" A quick glance at Kili informed me he was just as shocked to see me as our leader. "I was watching the camp…But I heard the screaming." I said quietly. Taking a chance, I looked over at the brothers to find Fili look at his brother questioningly.

"What's wrong with you hand?" I snap my head back to Thorin who now stood just inches away from me. A quick look down I realized I was subconsciously cradling my right wrist.

"I-It's nothing." I stammered.

"If it is nothing, why are you holding it?" He said suspiciously. Thorin's hand reached for my arm but I shied away.

"I tripped. I jarred my wrist trying to catch my fall…That's why you heard me cry out." He dropped his hand and nodded as he walked past me. It was obvious he knew it wasn't true…Well not the whole truth. But for whatever reason he wasn't going to push me and for that I let out a sigh of relief. Why I protected Kili, I hadn't the foggiest idea.

"Are you sure you are alright child?"

Looking up at the very tall Wizard I gave a meek smile.

"Yea. I'll be fine. It's not the first time I've injured my wrist and it probably won't be the last."

With a nod, the wizard walked away slowly taking one last look at one of the frozen trolls with a grim look. Closing my eyes, I could still feel the lingering pain. I knew that these would be difficult to hide, but I needed to deal with it. I couldn't let these hinder me from helping the dwarves of the impending dangers that awaited them. Opening my eyes, I found myself face to face with Kili.

"How did you get out?" He asked. The shock evident on his face.

"Yea, next time you tie someone up. Make sure they aren't good with their mouth.."

Kili's face faltered. His eyes darken and I quickly repeat my sentence in my head.  _Oh! That was so wrong in so many ways._

Mentally shaking myself, I push past him and rush after the others leaving a very stunned Kili behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! Kili's in trouble with May. What will happen next!? Duh duh DUH! Lol Hope you all enjoyed the newest chapter. Comments and likes appreciated. ^_^ Ta!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Breaking point

With Gandalf leading Thorin, Bofur, Nori and Gloin into the troll cave, that left me outside with the others. I kept my distance for as long as I could before I walked down the path to where the lonely hobbit sat at the mouth of the cave.

"Are you alright?" I asked. Bilbo's head popped up, his eyes unclear for a brief moment before giving a weak smile.

"Yes. Fine. Fine." His voice was distant as he once again went back to his thoughts.

I knew that he was scared. As was I. I empathized with him and while I knew that I couldn't say anything that would truly bring any comfort to him, I did the only thing I could think of. I hugged him. For a moment his did nothing, his body tensed. But soon enough he gave in and returned the hug.

"What was that for?" He said amused as we pulled back.

"Seemed like you needed it." I replied. Bilbo nodded with a small smile.

"Thank you. Are…Are you alright?" A cock of my head had him continue. "You've just been quiet. I mean you are usually quiet. But more so. I just…Whatever caused that…The other night…If there's anything you want to talk about I…I just want you to know you can come to me."

My eyes stung as I held back my tears and nodded. How I wanted to tell him, tell everyone what I knew. What happened before, what was going to happen now. I knew it was unwise. For multiple reasons. Self-preservation, uncertain of the outcome of them discovering future events. Risk of being shunned for sounding completely and utterly mental.

The hobbit patiently waited for a response that did not come as the others returned.

"Bilbo." Gandalf called.

The dwarf opened and closed his mouth before patting my shoulder and walking off to see what the wizard wanted. A smile tugged at my lips.  _The letter opener. Sting._

"May?"

My smile faltered hearing Fili's voice. Shifting my gaze, I found the blonde looking upon me. Guilt and shame clearly showed on his face as he took a step closer.

"I-"

Thorin's cry cut off the dwarf and with a small frown, he quickly ran after the others. I stayed behind a moment later. Partly because I knew there wasn't any trouble, at least not at this precise moment if I remembered correctly, and partly because I wanted to know what Fili was going to say. Why did he look so guilty? Did he know what his brother did? Was he in it?

So many questions and no answers. I shook my head and shoved my confusion aside. While I knew I wanted answers, I didn't want to miss seeing if Radagast was the same in this as in the movie. With a small sigh, I walked over to the others.

* * *

"Radagast!" Gandalf said with a sigh of a relief sheathing his sword. "Radagast the brown."

As the wizard not so gracefully made his way down the slow to greet the other wizard the dwarfs held their positions for a moment longer before hesitantly lowering their weapons. Looking up at Fili, his eyes did not leave the wizard, nor did he lower his arm.

Placing my hand on his arm, I caught his attention.

"It's ok." I said gently. I could tell he didn't believe me, but it was when his gaze shifted to my wrist that his brows furrowed. Quickly I shifted the sleeve to cover my wrist and moved next to Bilbo before he could say anymore.

"I-It was right there. On the tip of my tongue!" The frazzled wizard insisted.

Gandalf watched Radagast with curious eyes. With a gasp the wizard spoke keeping his mouth open. Slowly as he stuck out his tongue, a stick insect appeared. I held back a laugh as Gandalf picked up the little bug and placed it on the brown wizards hand.

"Now what did you want to discuss?"

"Not here." Radagast said leaning towards the taller wizard.

With no other word, the two wizards walked off to talk without prying ears leaving the rest of us to keep watch. Thorin quickly took to talking with Dwalin and Balin in hushed voices. Gloin and Nori joined in. Bofur grouped up with Bomber and Ori while the others kept to their spots. Their eyes scanning the surrounding areas. I stood by Bilbo as the hobbit slumped against the root of a tree, my jaw tense as I watched Fili make his way over to his brother. They stood just out of range of hearing, but it didn't take a genius to tell they were arguing. I let out a slow breath casting my gaze onto the ground.

"Is everything alright?" Bilbo asked.

I nodded before letting myself slump against the branch.

"Just tired."

The hobbit said nothing as he said down beside me, his eyes straight ahead watching the others. I couldn't help but smile as I leaned my head back and allowed my eyes to close.

My eyes snapped open as a howl echoed through the air. Bilbo shot to his feet.

"Was that a wolf? A-are there wolves out there?" Bilbo stammered.

"Wolves? No that is not a wold." Bofur said.

The snarling and soft shuffling of leaves caught our attention. That was the only warning it gave before lunging for Bofur. The dwarf quickly moved aside and swung his ax at the creature as Thorin quickly stabbed his sword into it's neck.

The dead animal lay inches away from me. My heart raced as I inched closer when I heard the cries of the dwarves followed by more growling. Had Kili not rushed to my side, his bow and arrow ready as he shot down the other warg, I would have died.

"Warg scouts! Which means an orc pack is not far behind!" Thorin struggled a bit as he retrieved his sword from the warg's neck.

"Orc pack?" I turned to Bilbo who stood close to Gandalf.

"Who did you tell about your quest? Beyond your kin." Gandalf walked over to Thorin.

"No one." The dwarf insisted.

"Who did you tell?!"

"No one I swear! What in Durin's name is going on?" Gandalf gazed out to make sure there were no other wargs around before glancing at Thorin.

"You are being hunted." Thorin's eyes widened with fear and confusion.

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin was right, if they didn't act soon, if Radagast didn't act soon, we would be in serious trouble.

"We cant!" Ori's shaky voice caught everyone's attention as he stumbled down the hill. "We have no ponies. They bolted."

Radagast was quick to offer up his services. Gandalf rolled his eyes at suggestion.

"These are Gundabad warts! They will out run you!" Radagast didn't back down as he walked towards Gandalf.

"These are Rhosgabel rabbits."

Gandalf did a double take at Radagast's statement and I watched as the brown wizards voice softened and his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I'd like to see them try."

A silent agreement and the brown wizard was upon his rabbit-pulled sled, racing off to distract the scouts.

"Hurry, we won't have much time!" Gandalf moved quickly up the path that Radagast had gone. I was surprised at how fast he moved for such an old wizard, but then remembered that being taller and having extremely long legs in comparison to the rest of us, it made sense that it would seem like he was moving fast. I laughed to myself as I realized how my little toy fox must feel when I walk him.

Howling in the distance was a relief to know that Radagast still succeeded in his distraction. I slowed down as Gandalf stopped behind a rock. My heart was beating fast as I felt the adrenaline kick in. The sounds of panting reassured me that I wasn't the only one who wasn't great at running. Gandalf peaked around the rock, watching Radagast lead the warts down the hill. Gandalf was off again without warning. While I struggled to keep up, Some of the dwarves quickly past the old wizard.

Watching Thorin and the others stop in their track, I quickly turned around and began running. Thorin, Ori and Kili quickly pass me up. I follow them to the familiar rock formation, and fall against the surface.

"Ori no!" Thorin hissed as he pulled Ori back. I felt like I couldn't breathe. But seeing the wizard take off again, I forced my feet to move.

Looking behind I see the orc pack disappear. Gloin quickly came up behind me and placed a hand on my back, forcing me to pick up the pace.

"Hurry up!"

My legs burned and each breath is a stuggle, but the fear of getting caught or falling too far behind kept me from slowing down. Up ahead there is a triangular shaped boulder. My eyes widened as I ran closer to it. This is where our location is discovered.

There is no time to alert Gandalf to keep moving, as the moment we throw ourselves against the side of the rock. The sound of nails against stone, the heavy in breathing of a warg told us the scout was right above us. I threw my hand to my mouth and tried to even my breath as quietly as possible.

Catching Thorin motion to Kili, I pushed off the rock only to be pushed back by Dwalin's large arm. Taking one deep breath, Kili steps out and aims his arrow. The orc cries out as the arrow is released and hits the warg in the shoulder. A second arrow is released hitting the orc as both fall to the ground. The dwarves quickly move to attack the orc and warg. Frantically, I look around for a large enough rock. Turning to my right, I see a loose rock.

With the warg dead, I lifted the rock and walked over to the orc. Bring it over my head, I smashed the rock down. There was a sickening crack of bone and warm liquid hit my face. That should have been enough. But without thinking, I brought the rock up and slammed into the head again and again until a pair of hands pulled the rock from mine.

"He's dead! He's dead!"

Snapping my eyes open, a wide-eyed Kili brushes the hair from my face before helping me to my feet.

"He's dead." He whispered. I nodded. My body was shaking. From fear or fatigue. I wasn't sure. More than likely both.

There was no time though to dwell on these things as Gandalf took off once again. I knew where we had to go and we didn't have much time to get there.

I wasn't sure how long we were running for or how far we ran. But it seemed like no matter what direction we went, a warg pack was heading straight for us. Kili ran a head only to run back towards us warning of another pack.

"Kili! Shoot them!"

The dwarves and Bilbo took out their weapons as they ready themselves for the attack. All the while I stood in the middle, uncertain of what to do. I had no weapon, even Ori had a slingshot. While it made no impact it was still something. So I ducked into the grass, finally thankful for my short stature.

"We're surrounded!" Fili rushed closer to the group.

Kili didn't move back. His stance locked as he took out incoming orcs. Slowly the rest of the dwarves clumped together. Gandalf had gone and it didn't go unnoticed. Everything was just like the movie. But something felt off.

Looking around at the orcs slowly surrounding us, I realized what was wrong. Kili was still far off from the group, his focus on the orcs and warts in front of him. A few yards to his right, an orc crept toward the dwarf. My heart stopped. I knew that I had to act quick. The others each kept their eye on a target. Distracting them could be life threatening. Peeking up, I let out a small sigh. The orcs that remained were to focused to notice me.

With a curt nod to myself, I took off as quickly as I could. My heart raced with each step I got closer to the lone orc. Nothing mattered to me except to ensure that Kili survived this journey. The orc had almost reached Kili. Realizing I was almost there, I gave one last push before lunging for the orc. Our bodies hit the ground. Quickly I scrambled to my feet and landed a solid kick to the beast's head. The blow dazed the orc enough for Kili to shoot an arrow into it's chest.

"Kili! May! Run!" Kili and I looked over to see the others gone and Thorin standing in front of the large rock.

"Come on!" Kili shot me a glare before running back.

I wanted to so badly to survive. I wanted to keep going. But the adrenaline was winning and I found myself stumbling. Each step a struggle to keep from falling. Kili kept running, getting farther ahead. Looking behind I saw the orc pack getting close. The orc riders smiling as at the fear on my face. Blood rushed in my ears. I tried to run faster. But it was like a nightmare where my legs felt like they were weighed down with bricks.

_I'm not gonna make it. I can't. I can't._

"Move!"

A gloved hand clasped around mine and I was suddenly being dragged towards the rock. Only when we reached Thorin, did Kili release my hand. I quickly slid down under the rock, followed by Kili and Thorin.

With the help of Bilbo and Bofur, I got to my feet. It took every effort to keep standing, so when Bilbo ushered me over to the wall of the underground cave, I was more than willing to rest against it. I didn't miss the glare Kili shot me as his brother helped him up. Nor did I miss the look of concern Fili gave me. I just closed my eyes as I wished for a bed or soft surface to sleep on.

I heard the commotion, the drawing of weapons. An orc had appeared at the opening of this underground cave. The one nice thing about knowing what was to happen, is knowing when you didn't have to worry as much. This was one of those moments, for I stayed against the wall, eyes closed as I listened to the horn of the River Elves followed by the cry of the orc before he rolled down the slope dead at the everyone's feet.

Cracking my eyes open, I found Gandalf poke the beast with his staff only to confirm that it was indeed dead. Thorin bent down and pulled the now black arrow out of the orcs neck. Glaring he noted out loud that the arrow belonged to elves. It was when I noticed the blood that I looked down at myself. Black blood was spattered on my shirt. It stained my hands and parts of my chest. I could only imagine what my face looked like.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?" Bofurs voice shook me from my thoughts.

"Follow it of course." Dwalin insisted motioning for everyone to move out.

I moved to follow when something caught my eye. Kili stood unmoving his eyes not leaving the orcs body.

"What in Durin's name do you think you were doing?" He hissed. "You had no weapon! You are reckless and if you hadn't been lucky-"

"If I hadn't been lucky then you would be dead!" I said confidently.

Kili shifted his gaze to me. I could see the anger that began to build.

"No one noticed the Orc. I did! I did what any of the others would have done, had they seen the orc first. So why are you so mad at me?!"

The dwarf stormed up to me, backing me against the wall. We were so close and once again I felt my stomach lurch.

"You are a fool! You could have gotten the others killed if they had tried to stop you or worse you could have gotten yourself killed!

"But I didn't!"

"You almost did! Had I not helped you, you would have been…You should have stayed at the farm."

"What did I do?" I said. My voice cracking pitifully as I looked in the the dwarf's eyes. "Had it been anyone else, it wouldn't be an issue. Is it because I'm not a dwarf? Bilbo's a hobbit and you went out of your way to rescue him! But  _you_  tied me to a fence! I mean when were you planning on coming back for me?"

Kili said nothing as his jaw clenched.

"Kili? You were going to come back right?!"

When he cast his eyes down, I felt like I had been slapped.

"You weren't, were you? You hate me that much that you would leave me behind and just forget about me. You would be fine if I were dead just as long as it wasn't at the risk of the others!"

"What?!" He said wided-eyed "No it's not like that!"

The moment my hand made contact with his face, my blood ran cold. I quickly covered my mouth and pressed my back up against the wall. Kili turned to me, hand to his cheek and mouth gaping. The shock and hurt easily readable in his eyes. I dropped my hand to apologize when someone let out a cough.

Our eyes shifted to Fili. The cold stare he gave us, sent a shiver down my spine. Without thinking, I took a small step behind Kili as the blond approached us. His eyes locked with his brothers. Neither said anything before Kili stormed off down the passage.

"Come along." Fili said before walking away.

His tone was emotionless. So different than before. My heart thumped in my chest as I replayed what I had done. Slowly I followed the blond dwarf silently praying that if he was going to kill me, that it be quick and painless.

* * *

Gandalf led the group down to the home of the River Elves. Thorin followed, with Balin, Bilbo, Kili, Ori, Bomber, Bofur, Dwalin, Nori, Dori and Fili in tow. I silently followed a few feet away. There was no need to stay close on this path. Rivendell was safe and the walk felt tense enough, what with the dwarves having a mild hatred towards Elves, without me having to add to it.

_What have I done? I didn't mean to. But how could he just plan on leaving me? I should have just walked away. I should have followed the others and not even talked with Kili. Fuck! And now Fili…I slapped his brother and he saw…I can't do this anymore._

"Why do you walk so far behind?" The familiar voice shook me from my thoughts. Fili took to my side though he did not look at me.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, stopping in my tracks.

"What is there for you to apologize for?"

"What happened back there…I didn't…He said I could have died…but he tied me up and he wasn't going to leave me. But I didn't believe him and then I…I haven't slapped anyone before, you have to believe me. But he made me so mad. Then you saw and now you hate me and you have every right but I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

That's what I wanted to say. But instead, I stared up at the blond dwarf who awaited my response with a brow raised. I opened my mouth in attempts to speak, but could think of nothing to say. I bit my lower lip and shook my head in defeat.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. What else could I say? While I wasn't completely at fault, I should have stopped the kiss. "I should have stayed behind."

"Stayed behind?" My eyes shot up to find him staring at me with confusion.

"I…Please don't hate me." I pleaded.

I realized I had reached my limit. There was no energy left to fight, only beg for forgiveness and that he not cast me aside. While I had only a few moments of interactions with this dwarf, he was the one who had believed in me since Bag End. I couldn't leave knowing that he hated me.

In reality it was less than a minute, but each second felt like minutes as he stood staring at me, before he spoke.

"We dwarves are loyal to those we trust. Once that trust is broken, there is no forgiving."

The words were a bitter truth. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and slowly nodded. I was about to walk off when his hand grabbed my arm.

"You did not betray anyone's trust. You have nothing to apologize for Miss May." A small smile played at his lips.

"But y-you saw us-" I stammered.

"I know, Miss May. I know." He said gently.

I didn't understand what he meant at first. It wasn't until the grip on my arm loosened, letting his fingers glide down to gently touch the still sensitive skin of my wrists. I let out a hiss as I jerked my hand away.

"Like I said  _you_  have nothing to apologize for." He said taking my arm in his as he led me down the path.

My head spun. The kindness he was showing was more than welcomed but this conflict between the brothers bothered me. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be close as thieves. Guilt welled up in the back of my mind knowing I was ultimately responsible for this. I had to fix this.

"Please don't tell anyone." I could feel the blonde's eyes on me but I continued. "It was my fault. I wasn't listening and Kili only did what he felt he had to. To protect the others."

I met his eyes with a weak smile. Sensing he was going to push the subject, I quickly shifted my focus to Elven outpost. It was hard to believe it was all real, as it sat on the edge of the mountain top. There was no stopping the smile that spread across my face as I took it all in.

"Wow!" I sighed.

"It is a beautiful sight." He said with awe.

"Yeah. I remember when I first saw it, I was just amazed." I said with a laugh.

"You have been here before?"

The dwarf raised a brow as my eyes widened at my slip up.

"N-no. Never." I stuttered.

"Then how could you have seen it before, if you have never been."

_Kuso! Baka!_

Had it not been for the keen eyes on me, I would have slapped myself.

"I have a vivid imagination." Cautiously I looked up at the young dwarf. He cocked his head. "I uh… had heard stories from random people and I just meant that it was just like that had told me. Well at least how I pictured it in my head…Sorry, dumb I know."

"You may be many things miss. But dumb isn't not one of them." He said with a smile.

"Yea right." I muttered casting my eyes down.

Fili grabbed my hand, forcing me to a stop. A gentle hand was placed below my chin lifting my gaze to meet his. Blue eyes studied my face as if trying to figure out what to say. My stomach flipped and suddenly realizing just how close we were, I stepped away from his touch.

"Come on. We don't want to get left behind." My voice quiet and had the dwarf not nodded in agreement, I would have thought he hadn't heard me.

* * *

Walking up to the entrance was overwhelming and jaw dropping. The giant Elven soldier statues towered over us as we made our way across the bridge. While the dwarves stood tense, I felt myself begin to relax. The sound of the water running, birds singing. The soft wind blowing across my face. It was soothing. But then again I knew there was nothing to fear here.

Looking around, I saw Thorin and Dwalin begin talking in a hushed tone. Gandalf stood closest to the stairs as he waited for one of the Elves to greet us. It wasn't long before the others seemed to let the beauty of this place sink in. Their eyes looking this way and that, jaw slack in awe. I looked over at Bilbo take in a deep breath as a smile spread across his face. It was the first time I've seen him smile like that since we left the shire. Bilbo doesn't take long to notice me and smiled.

It was a few minutes later that we were finally greeted by Lindir and in just a matter of seconds, the dwarves and even Bilbo Baggins quickly tensed up. It didn't matter that Gandalf spoke calmly with the Elf, or that the Elf held no weapons.

But it didn't matter for the horns from earlier blew as a line of Elven warriors atop white horses quickly approached. The dwarves formed a tight circle and I was quickly pulled to the center to stand beside Bilbo. To say I was surprised by the sudden act of protection was an understatement in comparison to finding that Thorin, himself, was the one shielding me from the "evil" Elves.

The horses grew in numbers forming two circles, with the inside circle walking clock wise to us and the outside in the opposite direction before coming to a stop. The giant of a man slowed his horse to a stop. His face emotionless as Gandalf stepped forward to greet him with a bow. A few words in Elvish were exchanged before he gracefully dismounted. In a few steps he hugged the wizard and stepped back holding up an orc sword.

"Strange for orcs to come so close to our borders. Something or  _someone_  has drawn them near." He observed, handing the sword to Lindir.

"Ah. That may have been us."

With a wave at the group, the dwarves slowly parted away as Thorin moved forward. Elrond's eyes scanned the group before locking onto Thorin.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." He said, his face, void of any emotions.

"I do not believe we have met."

"You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled Under the Mountain."

"Indeed. He made no mention of you." I pinched the bridge of my nose and cringed.  _Why can't he just stop after "indeed"?_

"You."

Confused at the change in conversation, I popped my head up to find all eyes on me.

"Strange for a woman to be among a group of dwarves and not be a dwarf herself."

My eyes followed the sound of the voice. Elrond towered over me and I couldn't help feel a shiver run down my spine. Swallowing around my fear, I gave a small bow.

"I…I'm with them. I mean I am but I have nowhere else to go and they agreed to let me stay for now…ya."

The heat of a blush spread through my body as I ducked my head. Oh how I had wanted nothing more than to just disappear.

Elrond said nothing. His eyes scanned the group before coming back to me.

"I see…Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin ** _._** " He said, still he showed no emotion.

No one spoke, for about a second. Gloin shoved his way past me, a growl emanating from him.

"What does he say?! Does he offer us insult!"

"No master Gloin! He's offering you food!" Gandalf interjected with a sigh.

The statement made the dwarves go silent and soon, me and Biblo were on the outside as the Dwarves huddled together debating on what to do. Bilbo looked on baffled. I just chuckled and shook my head.

"Well…In that case. Lead on." Gloin sheepishly spoke up.

And that was that, the tension was gone and the promise of food was like heaven to my hears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG So this chapter ended up being SOOOOO much longer than I anticipated. Bare with me though. As the future chapters will also be more in depth so it may take time for me to post the newer chapters. Hope you enjoyed this chapter though!
> 
> Translation:
> 
> Kuso: Shit
> 
> Baka: Stupid
> 
> Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin: Light the fires, bring forth the wine. We must feed our guests.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction. Really hope you like it.
> 
> Side note about the character:  
> She is japanese and speaks a little Japanese.


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